Present Reality
by Piper Emerald
Summary: When L decides to attend To-Oh, early on he realizes that he enjoys annoying his roommate Raito Yagami. However it seems that others have beaten him to the job of making Raito's life a living hell. L doesn't know how to overcome his own past, but maybe Raito is the solution to putting it aside and focusing on the present reality. (College AU) (Parallel fic to In Person)
1. Chapter 1

**A quick note: This fic is parallel to In Person (an MxM fic). You don't have to have read that story to read this one. Both fics can be read as stand-alones, but there will be some spoilers for In Person in this one and vise versa.**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note the rain scene would be several episodes long and not end in L's death.**

* * *

 _March_

L only wanted to bring one suit case. He had explained this to his family. Well, he had stated it at least. In one suitcase, he could fit a tooth brush, and clothes. This was all he would need and he didn't see the need in bringing along multiple items that he would not need.

"You have to brush your hair," Mello told him.

Wammy had asked Mello to help L pack. L suspected this was because Mello was the most superficial and would insist on him bringing things such as the dreaded hair brush. This was also because Mello cared the most, and was the most upset, about L going away. That wasn't to say Near didn't care, but Near handled emotions in an entirely different way. Not to mention Near would insist on L filling his bags with toys instead of necessities. Beyond acted like he didn't care that L would soon be attending school in another country, when in reality he did. However, everyone in the house knew that it would be best for L's health if Beyond was kept far away from the suitcase.

"Why?" L complained to Mello.

"Do you want to look like an emo kid who makes their hair look like a bird's nest on purpose?" Mello gave him the we-are-not-amused glare. "Because that's what you're going to look like if you don't brush your hair."

"You said look three times in that sentence," L informed him as he shoved the brush into his bag. "And I already don't brush my hair."

"Computer?" Mello moved to the next item on his list.

"Check," L's laptop bag was sitting on his bed with the suitcase.

"Socks?"

"Are the devil in the form of clothing," L said flatly.

"We'll pass on those then," Mello complied. "But wear shoes at least."

"Fine," L huffed, plopping on the bed next to his things.

"Why can't you go to school here?" Mello complained, sitting next to him.

"We've been over this," L did not want to have the conversation again.

"You're abandoning me, you know?" Mello told him.

"I know."

"I'm going to be stuck with the crazy one and the soulless one until I graduate!"

"Beyond might go to university," L argued.

"And get kicked out in the first month," Mello deadpanned.

"I'm sure he'll be able to cover up the murder," L was only slightly joking.

"Until he brags about it," Mello exclaimed.

"You're right," L laughed. "But we won't have to deal with him when he's in prison."

"Haha," Mello rolled his eyes.

"Be nice to Near," L chanced giving this instruction.

"He's the rude one," Mello said dully.

"But you're louder about it," L reminded him.

"Fine," Mello sighed and stood up again. "Did you pack underwear?"

"I'm not completely insanitary," L crossed his arms as he spoke.

"Did you or did you not?" Mello asked again.

"I'll get it now," L groaned, standing up and walking to his draw.

"Thought so," Mello laughed.

"I did plan on packing them," L muttered in his defense.

"Sure," Mello rolled his eyes. "You realize I will die of boredom without you."

"Maybe you'll meet a boy at that school of yours," L smirked. "And fall so madly in love that you won't have time to be bored."

"Our school is a collection of socially adept brats," Mello said with annoyance. "I'd sooner meet someone online."

"Please don't."

"Maybe you'll meet a cute Japanese boy," Mello teased. "At least you being in another country will make it hard for B to kill the sod."

"I already told you," L sighed dramatically. "I don't date anymore."

"Sorry," Mello muttered. "At least make one friend then."

"You only think I'll be able to make one?"

"No, I don't think you'll try to make any," Mello said flatly. "Promise you'll be nice to one person."

"You're never nice to anyone," L pointed out.

"I'm not running off to a foreign country," Mello argued. "One friend. Deal?"

"Fine," L promised.

"Good," there was a slight sense of triumph to Mello's voice. "Headphones?"

"Beyond put jam in them." L retrieved the broken device and tossed them to his adopted brother.

"And you kept them?" Mello was clearly flabbergasted

L merely shrugged.

—

L didn't sleep at all on the plane ride (or the night before for that matter), and was annoyed to admit that he was feeling groggy before he reached To-Oh University. Deciding it was better to nip tiredness in the bud, he bought a few handfuls of candy at the airport. He was pleased that the woman at the counter of the candy store hadn't tried to communicate with him in broken English. L was fluent in Japanese, but knew that he didn't come off as a local.

Once L reached the campus, it wasn't hard to find his dorm room. This was good, considering classes would start in an hour. L knew he would be cutting it close when he had booked his flight, but hadn't seen the need in settling in. Therefore, it didn't surprise him that the poor soul doomed to share a room with him had unpacked his bags before L's arrival.

"Oh, you showed up," a boy with honey brown hair observed when L walked through the door of their room.

"I believe the first day is mandatory," L remarked dryly.

"Most people get here earlier," the boy told him.

"I know." L watched the boy try to read his expression, and wasn't surprised to see him come away with disappointment at the lack of information he had gained.

"This is my side." the boy gestured to the bed and closet that already neatly contained his possessions.

 _A little too neatly_ , L mused. _There's something to be said about someone needing to have a room organized after only living there for an hour or so_.

As if to prove a point, L flung his suit case of his bed and began shuffling through the contents in as disorderly of a fashion as he could muster. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his roommate wrinkle his nose. Were L the type to openly display his amusement, he may have laughed our right.

"I'm Yagami Raito," L's roommate introduced himself.

"Hideki Ryuga," L said without turning to face Raito.

"Yeah right," he heard the boy scoff.

"What?" L looked at the boy now, his expression feigning innocence.

"That's not your name," Raito stated.

"Why not?"

"Because Hideki Ryuga is a famous pop-star," Raito's irritation was starting to show.

"It's possible for more than one person to have the same first and last name," L replied.

"True, but that doesn't mean you're not lying," Raito said. "Besides, you're not from Japan are you?"

"I wasn't aware that you had to be from Japan to have a Japanese name," L pretended to muse.

"You know what I mean."

"You shouldn't assume that I do," L said.

"Never mind," Raito seemed close to loosing his patients. "You don't have to tell me your name."

With that the boy picked up a book bag and left the room. L chuckled. Yagami Raito was the exact sort of person that L liked to annoy. This school year was going to be interesting.

—

L could tell that half of his world literature class had not read all three of the books assigned to them over the break. For such a prestigious school, this lack of effort more than annoyed him. The class was currently discussing the third book, and L was mentally picking out which ones of his peers knew what was going on.

"Um, well I kinda thought…" A girl with bleached blonde hair and a high voice stammered. "I kinda thought that scene represented sex."

The girl was sitting three desks away from L. If he craned his neck he could get a clear view of her and the book that her hands were nervously fiddling with. Going out of his way to stare at her was something he knew others would deem creepy, but fortunately the rest of the class was gaping at her as well. True, her read on the scene the class was discussing was a little unorthodox and, in L's opinion, incorrect.

"Amane," another girl spoke now. "I know practically everything reminds your hormones of sex, but if you're going to comment maybe you should at least read the text first."

"I did read it," the blonde tried to protest, but it was clear that no one was taking her seriously. L, however, didn't doubt her.

From his angle, he could see that the pages of her book were dog-tagged and clearly had notes on them. The accusatory remark from the other girl wasn't in an attempt to add to the discussion. She had only said this to insult the blonde and make her look even more foolish. This irritated L.

"What was your read on the passage, then?" L spoke up.

"What?" The girl's eyes narrowed.

"If you think her read on it was so incorrect, what did you think that the subtext was?" L resisted smiling at the flustered expression on the girl's face, instead he kept his tone and appearance neutral. "Personally, I think that the build up in tension at this moment of the story was definitely meant to signify the relationship between the protagonist and his friend."

"You actually think that it signifies sex?"

"That is one way to interoperate it. One could say that the tension build up throughout the pervious chapters is suddenly resolved is almost orgasmic. Not to mention the suggested early on of a romantic relationship between the characters." L paused. "And if my use of the word 'orgasmic' offends your as much as the word 'sex' seemed to earlier, then I suggest you remind yourself on what subject this class is."

The girl blinked, dumbfounded.

"Literature is full of sexual symbols, wether you acknowledge them or not," L buttoned his argument. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the blonde girl stifle a giggle.

When the period was over, L's plan had been to get from the Literature classroom and to his next class without speaking or making eye contact with any of his peers. This plan was quickly demolished when a small hand grabbed his arm, stopping him from his retreat.

"Thanks for saying that," the blonde girl gave him a bright smile.

"You're welcome," L took his arm back from her, but didn't continue walking. "But, you do realize you were wrong, right?"

"Yeah." The girl sighed, and let her head tilt downward, her pigtails swayed slightly. "Literature isn't my thing."

"That was no reason for our classmate to be so hard on you," L pointed this out to stop the girl's sulking.

"Kiyomi hates me," the girl laughed. "I'm Misa, by the way."

"L."

"That's an interesting name," she giggled.

"Yes," L said dryly.

"Hey, Misa?" a familiar voice broke through the conversation.

"Hi, Raito!" Misa grinned at the boy approaching them. She turned to L. "That's Rai—"

"We've met," L told her shortly.

"What are you doing here?" L's roommate gave him an irritated look.

"I attend this school as well, if you recall that's the reason we have to share a room," L's voice was monotone.

"Your roommates?" Misa's amusement showed in her voice.

"Unfortunately for Yagami-san," L drawled, giving the girl a slightly less neutral expression.

"Did he tell you his name?" Raito asked Misa as if L had already walked away.

"It's Ryuzaki," L decided.

"No, it's not," the boy dismissed. "What is it with you and fake names?"

"I'm amused by your reaction," he answered honestly. "However, if that had been my actual name I would have been offended."

"But it's not—"

"I think I'm offended anyway," L told him. "It was nice to meet you, Misa-chan."

Misa only laughed.

"What the hell…" Raito sighed, shaking his head.

L smiled once he had turned his back on Raito and Misa. He was definitely going to enjoy annoying his roommate.

* * *

 **Okay...it's been three months. I've finally written this and hope that those of you who mentioned wanting to read it while I was writing In Person will enjoy it! Thanks for read, please** **review!**


	2. Chapter 2

_March_

Early on Raito had learned that many things in life came with a glass half-full point of view and a glass half-empty point of view. He was reminded of this piece of perspective as he awoke on his second day of attending To-Oh. On the bright side, his roommate was no where to be found. Unfortunately, the strange boy had left more candy wrappers than Raito had ever seen in one place in his stead.

Raito had no clue how one person could eat so much candy in only one night, but had to conclude that the sugar consuming was all that his roommate had done for the past eight hours. He must have chosen this activity over sleeping. At least the numerous sugar rushes would have kept him awake. The thought of his roommate eating candy and watching Raito sleep made a shiver go down his spine.

Raito did his best to avoid the candy wrappers as he went through his morning routine of getting dressed and ready for the day's classes. Not wanting to touch them himself in order to throw them away. It was only when Raito was gathering the books that he would need that day, that "Ryuzaki" quietly reentered their room.

"Your trash is everywhere," Raito told him point blank.

"So it is," his roommate only seemed to notice this now.

"Clean it up," Raito didn't care that this sounded like an order.

"I will later," the boy shrugged.

"Do you not understand how disgusting it is for me to wake up to a room covering in food wrappers?" Raito was getting more and more annoyed.

"I apologize." This was spoken in a hardly sincere tone.

"It might attract ants," Raito badgered.

"I'll clean it up tonight." Raito watched his roommate walked to his bed, sling the book bag that had been sitting there over his shoulder and turn back to the door. He had managed to step on five candy wrappers in this process, and hadn't paid heed to one of them.

"You realize that this is my room too, right?" Raito blurted before the boy could leave.

"Yes," he didn't sound at all faze.

"And you also realize that you are going to have to get along with me for the rest of the school year?" Raito added.

"I was aware of this as well," the boy stated. "What is your point?"

"Never mind," Raito sighed in disbelief.

"Goodbye then."

With that he was out the door, leaving Raito to shake his head in bewildered annoyance.

—

"I'm telling you, he's insane!" Raito exclaimed, to an all too eggar to listen Misa.

They only shared a few classes, so she had decided that they were going to eat both breakfast and lunch together. Misa must have planned to spend this time to catch him up on whatever drama she was currently in the middle of. To her surprise, and apparently amusement, Raito had decided that this was the perfect opportunely for him to complain about his roommate to someone.

"You're so mean," she chided with a wide smile.

"No I'm not," he paused. "Okay, I am, but I'm not just being mean this time. This guy is a complete weirdo."

"Because he eats candy?"

"Yes—No!" Raito sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to understand his pain.

"It's cute that you're getting so worked up over it," she informed him.

"I am not cute," he told her in a firm voice.

"But your roommate is," she giggled. "In a creepy way."

"So you admit he's creepy!" Raito jumped at the comment.

"Yes," she allowed. "He's totally creepy, but that doesn't mean he's a freak."

"I didn't use that word," Raito didn't bother concealing his opinion of that word to Misa.

"Sorry," she sheepishly stammered. "Of course you didn't."

"Still," Raito tried to bring the conversation back to his complaint and away from the tension it had just adopted. "Who leaves dozens of candy wrappers all over the room in only one night?"

"How does he not get fat?" She wondered.

"I have no idea," Raito laughed.

"I'm sure you guys will get along in a few days," Misa decided.

"Don't put money on it," he muttered.

"How are you doing, Raito?" Her tone was no longer bubbly, and Raito had to fight the urge to brake the soft eye contact she had created.

"Fine, I guess," he tried to shrug her off.

"Only fine?" she looked disappointed.

"My sister asked you to bug me about it, didn't she?" he accused.

"Hey," she crossed her arms in a pout. "I can be concerned about my best-friend/ex-crush if I want to!"

"So she did ask you?" Raito smirked.

"She texted me five times last night," Misa admitted. "But that doesn't mean I'm not also concerned."

"I know," Raito smiled at her. "And I'm fine. Actually, I think things might be getting better."

"Really?"

"Well, no one's bothered me about it yet," he told her. "Maybe they matured since high school."

"Or just forgot about it?" She suggested.

"Maybe," Raito doubted this. "We should get going, class starts in ten minutes."

Misa sighed dramatically.

"You have World Lit at the ned of the day?" Raito remembered.

"With your roommate and with the she-devil from hell!" Misa answered.

"If Kiyomi's a she-devil, then her being from hell is self explanatory," Raito couldn't resist critiquing.

"Whatever," Misa rolled her eyes.

"I'll see you at lunch."

—

Raito wasn't surprised to find "Ryuzaki" in their room at the end of the school day. He didn't acknowledge the door opening as Raito entered. He was currently perched on the edge of his bed (despite the fact that their desk was clear) holding the book he was reading with his thumb and index finger. Raito decided to ignore the odd posture the boy was sitting in.

"Hello," the boy said once Raito was emptying his school bag.

"Hey," Raito decided to be polite for the moment. "Are you going to tell me your real name yet?"

"Why?" The boy's face was still turned to his book, but Raito could tell that he was watching him out of the corner of his eye.

"You didn't clean up the candy wrappers," Raito noticed with displeasure.

"I threw away the ones on your side of the room," Ryuzaki drawled. "Be happy."

"Whatever," Raito's attention went back to the homework that he had piled onto their desk.

He had the chance to begin looking over his assignment for maths, when his focus was disrupted.

"My real name is L," the boy murmured, almost as if he didn't want Raito to hear him.

"Yeah right," Raito rolled his eyes in exaggerated attitude. "You're getting less and less convincing. At least the first two you told me were legit names."

"On your clearly expert standards, what exactly makes a name 'legitimate?'" The buoyancy had evaporated from the boy's voice. Raito turned to look at him in surprise at the reaction, and met a sharp and cold expression in his dark eyes.

"That's your name," he stated dumbly.

"Correct."

"The letter L?" Raito regretted saying this as soon as it left his lips.

"Correct."

"I'm sorry," he hated apologizing to this person, but knew that he must have crossed a line. Still, it wasn't as if it was his own fault. "I probably wouldn't have questioned it if you have told me off the bat."

"Maybe," L didn't seem to like this answer.

"Stop giving me that look," the degree of quiet offense his roommate was showing was starting to make Raito uncomfortable. "If you hadn't lied initially, I wouldn't have had reason to doubt you."

"I suppose you're right," L seemed to brush the conversation off.

"I am," Raito couldn't help muttering.

"Yes, that's what I said." L must have heard him.

"Yeah," Raito hadn't expected a reply.

He was in the process of debating wether he would rather spend his time winning a bicker with L or finishing his math homework when his train of thought—and apparently L's as well—was broken by a cellphone ringtone. L dove at his flip phone, picking it up the way he had been holding his book. He seemed well aware that Raito was watching him, and Raito wondered if he was going to leave the room to answer the call.

"Mello, shouldn't you be in school right now?" L spoke into the phone in English.

Raito realized that L had no idea that he was practically fluent in the language after studying it relentlessly throughout his high school life. Before now Raito had been unsure of exactly where is roommate was from, and hadn't seen the need in trying to impress the boy with the fact that he was bilingual. A slight smile crept onto Raito's lips. Quickly he turned his back on L and back to his homework, making it look as though he had dismissed the conversation that he could not understand. In reality he was taking the opportunity to listen in on L's conversation.

"B's driving you?" Raito listened to L chuckle. "Tell him not to crash…No you're right, he wouldn't appreciate that…"

First 'L' and now 'B,' Raito knew that it was not common in England—now that he was hearing L speak the language he could detect a slight accent—for parents to give their children letters for names. He concluded that L must be talking about a family member, for, surely, L's family would be the only one odd enough to use this trend.

"I am not worse!" L declared into his phone. "Of course he's laughing…I'm sure all three of you miss me very much…tell him to shut his mouth…I am not censored!"

Raito disguised a laugh as a cough at this remark, but he doubted that L was paying the slightest attention to him.

"Have fun." L's conversation seemed to be wrapping up. "Yes, tell Near that was a joke…Goodbye."

Raito listened to the snap of L closing his phone, his smile widened.

"Who was that?" Raito asked nonchalantly in English, keeping his back to L.

"How much did you understand?" He could feel L's eyes wearing into the back of his head.

"All of it," Raito informed him with not small degree of arrogance. "Who's B?"

"My brother," L replied stiffly.

"Mello and Near?" Raito was smirking now, not caring that L couldn't see his face.

"Also my brothers."

"What's with your family and weird names?" Raito meant this to be a joke, but understood that L would most likely take offense. Not that he cared.

"For this point forward, I will not speak Japanese in this room," L decided. Only now did Raito turn to send him a quizzical expression. "There's no need now that I know you can understand me when I speak my first language."

"And what if someone else comes in here and you need to communicate with them?" Raito asked.

"Fair point," L pondered this. "I will speak Japanese here, but when ever I am talking to Raito-kun along I will speak English."

"You're very annoying," Raito flatly informed him.

"I think I'm going to call you Light now," L continued.

"What?"

"That's your name in English," L explained.

"You know what, just do what you like. I don't care," Raito turned back to his homework with the resolve to ignore is English roommate.

"Whatever you say Light-kun."

* * *

 **Thank you to Cyinamas, Eye of Saturn, and Corliss Kat of the reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

_March_

L awoke at three in the morning, and spent the next ten minutes convincing himself that it wasn't a nightmare that had roused him. Denying his sleep daemons had become easier the more used to a minimal sleep schedule his mind and body became. That night L had only fallen asleep at midnight, and three hours of sleep was more than enough for him to get through a school day.

With that thought in mind, he got dressed. L knew that the rest of the campus wouldn't be up and about in at least another three hours. He reasoned that he could spend this time at the closest open cafe. Caffeine and sugar was sounding good right now.

Before L left the room, he let his eyes fall on his still sleeping roommate. For a moment, he considered drawing on the boy's face. Considering how much he slept each night, L doubted that the sensation would wake him up.

"Light-kun would look funny with a mustache," L mused.

Sure, he'd look funny, but he would also be furious. L weighed the chances that 'Light' would kill him should he execute this prank.

"Maybe next time," he decided, leaving the room without bothering Light in the slightest.

L found a cafe near the campus rather quickly. He ordered a slice of cake and a coffee, and sat at one of the many empty tables. To his surprise he wasn't the only person in the coffee shop. That being said, there were only two other people. L let himself relax as he ate his breakfast, to occupy his brain he decided to read ahead in the book that he'd been assigned for World Literature.

"L!" A high voice broke through the peaceful atmosphere, surprising but not startling him.

"Misa-chan, what are you doing awake at this hour?" L folded the corner of the page he was on a closed his book.

"I could ask you the same thing," she giggled, taking a seat in the chair across from him.

"I don't sleep," he stated.

"At all?" She seemed to believe him.

"How did you think the bags under my eyes became this dark?" He asked with a slight smile.

"You're pulling my leg," she crossed her arms.

"Only a little," he admitted. "I get the minimum amount of sleep needed for me to function."

"You make yourself sound like a machine," she let him know.

"I suppose I do," L shrugged off this observation. "What are you doing awake this early?"

"I had an early photoshoot." She placed her elbows on the table and her head on her hands as she spoke. "I'm a model."

"I see." L considered asking her to leave, but suddenly remembered his promise to Mello that he would be nice to one person. He doubted that a girl like Misa was what Mello had pictured for L's one friend, but L doubted that anyone else would be so willing to talk to him. Misa didn't seem that bad, and the fact that she looked close to his roommate could prove to be amusing later.

"Are you going to order something?" He asked politely.

"I'm on a diet," she said rather proudly.

"That must be awful." L couldn't fathom how this skinny girl had gotten it into her head that she needed to loose weight.

"It's worth it," she said in an assuring tone, but this didn't stop him from doubting her words. "Is Raito still sleeping?"

"He was when I left to room."

"Why are you sitting like that?" Misa must have been trying to find a topic of conversation. Having failed at doing so, she was now asking L every question that came to her mind.

"It increases my mental ability by forty-percent," he answered.

"Oh," her expression showed that she didn't deem this a worthy reason.

"Misa, what is your major?" He really wanted to ask 'how on Earth did you get into To-Oh?' but knew that would be rude and end the conversation.

"History," she said with a smile.

"I see," L hadn't expected this. "You like the subject?"

"It's the only thing I'm good at school-wise," Misa admitted. "I like the past, it's like a story. In high-school I was the only one of my friends who didn't think it was boring."

"Except for Raito-kun," L assumed.

"Yeah," Misa admitted. "Although it was hard to talk to him about school."

"Has Raito-kun complained about me to you?" L wondered.

"A lot," she said with an honesty that he appreciated. "Do you really eat that much candy?"

"I prefer sweet things," he told her.

"You're kind of weird, you know," she said with a smile.

"Yes, I know."

"Not a bad weird," she continued. "But you're definitely not normal. You're a good fit for Raito."

"By fit you mean…?" He looked to her for clarification.

"He needs something different in his life," she said this with a hint of melancholy in her voice.

"We're not friends," he reminded her.

"You will be soon enough," she dismissed.

"If I were you I would lower my expectations," he advised her.

"No chance!" Misa giggled again.

"Then we'll just have to wait and see how things turn out," he mused.

"Give me your number," she suddenly ordered.

"What?"

"You have a cell phone, right?" she didn't want for an answer before pulling out her own. "What's your number?"

"Why do you need this?" he asked slowly.

"So I can talk to you silly!" she exclaimed. He stared. "So we can gossip about Raito."

"That's a slightly better bargain." Reluctantly he told her his number.

 _One friend._ He reminded himself.

—

L expected to beat his roommate to their room once the school day had commenced. Having no where to go after his last class, L returned there as quickly as he could. Although he had no conformation of this, L imagined that Light took his time with getting back. He knew that a good percentage of the student body had gone to the same high school as Light, and didn't doubt that the boy had many friends he could spend his time with at the end of the day. That being said, he also could tell that Light was the driven type and would want to start his studying as soon as he could. Therefore, L was more than a little surprised when it took Light an hour and a half to make it back to their room, and even more surprised at the state the boy was in.

When Light aggressively pushed the door to their room open, the first thing that L noticed was the bruise beginning to form over his roommate's eye. The next was the dirt stains on his crumpled shirt and rip at the knee of his pants. L had watched Light lay these clothes out the night before, and they had been in pristine and ironed condition then.

"What happened to you?" L voiced, knowing it came out more as curiosity than concern.

Light didn't answer. Instead he dropped his book bag in the middle of the ground and sank into a slumped position on his bed, his head in his hands.

"Are you alright?" L asked.

"I'm fine," Light's voice was stiff and bitter.

"You don't look fine," L had to say.

"Shut up," Light snapped. "Just leave me alone."

"I didn't realize you were the type to get into fights," L said more to himself than to Light.

"I said: leave me alone!" Light growled, looking up to glare at L.

"Did you start it?" L asked, his voice neutral.

"No," Light hissed. "I don't start fights."

"I see."

"But if someone tries to hit me I'm not going to stand their and let them do it." L knew that the anger he was seeing was toward whoever Light had been fighting with, not him.

"Them?" L noticed. "There was more than one person?"

"Why do you care?" Light asked with venom in his tone.

"I don't like not knowing things," L admitted.

Light rolled his eyes.

"I don't like being interrogated," with this he laid down.

"You're going to get your bed dirty," L informed him.

"Shut up," Light sounded more tried than angry.

L fished his phone out of his pocket and clicked in the number that Misa had given him that morning. He quickly typed out a text. Having to translate his wit into messages when trying to communicate with Mello or Beyond had made him a fast texter.

 _Raito got into a fight. He is now moping. What do I do?_ —L

Misa replied in a manner of seconds, and L was surprised to find that she was faster than him. Although she did use short cuts, while L preferred to fully and correctly spell out words.

 _OMG! What? Is he OK?_

L registered the urge to scoff at her word choice, he understood that she was concerned.

 _He seems fine, but he's in a bad mood._

 _Dn't bug him_. Misa advised. _Do u no who he fought w/?_

 _No._

Two seconds later L heard Light's phone go off from across the room. Light groaned, but picked it up. L watched him read the texts that he had no doubt were from Misa.

"I could have told her myself," Raito said to L. "Now she's not going to stop spamming me."

"You're welcome," L attempted a joke.

"Yeah." He could practically hear Raito rolling his eyes.

"Tell her I'm taking a nap," Raito instructed.

"Alright," L said compliantly.

 _Raito says he's sleeping._ L typed into his phone.

* * *

 **Sending imaginary L candy (and not just the wrappers) to Corliss Kat for the prediction!**


	4. Chapter 4

_March_

"Raito Yagami, what the hell is wrong with you?" Misa's voice resembled a shriek as she slammed her palms on the cafeteria table Raito was eating at.

"Calm down," he glanced around to gage how many people were staring at them.

"No," She huffed as she sat down in the seat across from him. "We've been in school three days!"

"I didn't start this one," he argued.

"That's what you said that last time," she reminded him. "But you still threw the first punch."

"They attacked me," Raito told her. "I told them the get lost, but they wouldn't listen. You know that I'm not going to run away from any of them."

"It happened last year," Misa complained, switching her annoyance from Raito to his attackers. "Why can't everyone just let it go?"

"Because they need an outlet for their own anger and stress," Raito rationalized. "I made one mistakes that only effected you, Kiyomi, and myself. Still, as long as people talk about it, they're are going to hate me for it."

"I also effected Mi—"

"Yeah, I know," Raito cut her off.

"I can tell you're wearing makeup," Misa tried to force a humored tone.

"I have a black eye," he explained. "Now it just looks like I'm going through a beauty products phase—not like that would make the assholes from our high school leave me alone. If anything it'll just remind them of my gayness, which will remind them of the incident."

"I didn't know Light-kun was gay," the most irritating voice in the world said from behind him.

"Go away, L," Raito said rudely.

"When you say that it only makes me want to bother you more," L informed as he sat down a seat down from him. "Continue talking about your sexuality."

"Actually we were talking about his make up," Misa said to L.

"I see," L preceded to stare at Raito's face. "It's not very good."

"At least _I_ try to keep my eyes from looking like death," Raito retorted. "I was punched in the face yesterday, what's your excuse for those black eyes?"

"Insomnia," L answered.

"That was a rhetorical question," Raito had to laugh at the serious expression on L's face.

"Oh, I thought it was an insult," L directed his gaze away from Raito and to Misa. "Did he tell you who beat him up?"

"No one beat me up!" Raito interjected.

"It's personal," Misa said in an almost alluring tone that Raito hoped to God she had not intended.

"Interesting," L murmured.

"Thanks for telling her, by the way," Raito's voice was laced with sarcasm.

"You're welcome," L beamed (Raito wasn't completely sure if this was also sarcasm).

"Yeah, thank you L," Misa crossed her arms and glared at Raito. "I would like to think that my best friend would tell me something this serious himself."

"I was going to!" Raito exclaimed. "He beat me to it."

"I was honestly trying to help," L muttered.

"Sure," Raito rolled his eyes. "You just wanted to know what happened, so you turned to the most likely person to gossip about people she cares about."

"Hey," Misa looked offended for only a second. "Okay, that's kinda true…"

Raito chuckled, and he watched L stifle a smile out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

Raito felt the three pairs of eyes on him from the moment he walked into Psychology class. It wasn't that he hadn't expected this, although, if anything, he should be to one glaring not them. Knowing that it would only cause him more trouble if he acknowledged the attention his was receiving, Raito kept his gaze in front of him.

Listening to the lesson was impossible. Raito hadn't felt this distracted in months. He refused to look the slightest bit nervous, knowing that the more anxious he seemed the more likely it was that they'd try to jump him again. He scanned the room for something to focus on, his eyes landed on the back of L's head.

Had L always been in his Psych with him? Raito let himself ponder this question. Usually he didn't pay much heed to his classmates, but L was the type that called attention to himself unintentionally. L sat with his back hunched and his legs pulled between his torso and his desk. He couldn't tell from his angle, but if the boy was taking notes Raito was sure that he was holding his pencil with only two fingers.

 _What a weirdo_ , Raito couldn't help smirking as he thought this.

Raito hadn't noticed how long L's hair was before. It wouldn't surprise him if he was told that L never brushed it. Yet, it's messy state was oddly appealing. Raito wasn't sure why, but he felt compelled to touch it. He wondered if L would let him get away with that.

Because fate loved to spite Raito, it was at this exact moment that L turned his head to face the back of the classroom. Their eyes met instantly, and Raito knew that L could tell he had been staring at him. As if to confirm this, L raised and eyebrow. Raito rolled his eyes, trying to give off the impression of indifference.

He wasn't sure if L understood this or not, but he was sure that the next thing L saw was the three people who Raito knew were still glaring at him. Raito watched L's eyes travel to the corner of the room they were sitting in. L's expression changed slightly, and Raito wished he could know what his crazy roommate was thinking. L look back at Raito again for a fraction of a second before turning back around.

Raito spent the rest of class imagining what L's hair would feel like.

* * *

After Raito's last class ended his plan was to get from his current point on the campus to his room as quickly as possible. Since his string of awful luck was no where near over, this plan was disrupted by an all too familiar voice calling his name.

"Raito, can I talk to you for a moment?" Kiyomi Takada asked as she quickly approached him.

 _Great_ , he thought bitterly. _You talking to me in a crowded always full of people who idolize you, and used to idolize but now despise me is not going to give the wrong impression at all. Thanks for considering my personal well being, Kiyomi. You're really too kind._

"What is it?" was what he actually voiced. Although his tone wasn't very different from the one he would have spoke his mind with.

"I just wanted to apologize," she sheepishly tucked a strand of her short dark hair behind her ear. "I heard what happened and I—"

"You know, Kiyomi," Raito cut her off. He no longer cared how many people were listening in on their little chat, or how he had spent the past few months trying to act composed and polite around her. "I think it'd be better for the both of us if you just stayed away from me."

With this he curtly turned and began to walk away.

"Raito!" he heard her call from behind him. Her voice was closer to melancholy than anger.

Raito reminded himself that he was done paying for a mistake he had made nearly a year ago. In the back of his mind he realized that her clearly bruised feelings was only going to rally more people against him. He wasn't sure if it was paranoia or if everyone he pasted in the halls were silently watching them. Why couldn't they just mind their own goddamn business?

Raito nearly stopped when his eyes locked with those of someone he knew. This person was definitely staring, but Raito supposed he shouldn't have expected any different. He watched said person turned ever so slightly red, whether this was out of anger or embarrassment was unknown to him. Putting on a cool air, Raito broke the eye contact, acting as if it hadn't happened. He calmly continued walking.

He could feel Teru Mikami's eyes follow his back.

"My life is turning into a soap opera," Raito muttered to himself when he was sure that he was out of earshot.

* * *

Due to his plan of getting to his room before anyone could see him being jeopardized, Raito made a detour to the school library. When he found his way there, he wasn't one hundred percent sure that he was being followed, but didn't think that he could make it all the way back to the dorm building without this being a reality. So instead he decided to wait out anyone dead-set on bothering him. It was easy to find a table close the the check out desk where he could do his homework. To his delight, no one bothered him.

By the time he packed up his things and headed home it was nearly night. After checking out the mystery novel he had picked up after he finished the homework due the next day, Raito began his speed walk to his and L's room. Foolishly, he had thought that no one would have waited this long to bother him.

He heard the same three from the day before approaching him before he saw them. Panic began to rise in his chest, but he forced it down. Desperately, he tried to tell himself that he wasn't afraid of these people. Raito's pride had always outweighed his sense of safety, and never in his life had he run from a fight. He was sure as hell not going to start today.

"Leave me alone," he told them without looking behind him.

"Are you giving us orders now?" one of them laughed.

"Yes," Raito said with forced ease. "Sorry, I have a bad habit of doing that to the unintelligent."

The first punch knocked him off of his feet. He quickly shrugged off his heavy book bag and sprang back up.

"I'm sure ganging up on me really makes you feel better about your lives," he continued.

The second punch gave him a bloody jaw, but he was still standing. He threw one back and was pleased when it hit it's mark. Unfortunately that was the only blow he was able to deliver. Before he could dodge them, two of his attackers had him pinned to the ground. The other towered over him, but Raito refused to be intimidated.

"Tell me," he tasted blood as he spoke. "Is it my sexuality that upsets you or the fact that the gay guy can easily get the girls that refuse to even talk to you?"

The third punch made his vision blur. Numbly he wondered if his attackers would stop should he pass out. He doubted they would have the decency to drop his body outside of a hospital.

Vainly he struggled to get free of the two holding him down. He heard laughing, but couldn't register which one of them it was. Maybe it was all three, and his foggy mind couldn't sort out the different sets of laughter.

These questions were cut short when he heard a shout that was clearly not coming from one of the three. Hoping against all odds that the person shouting would stop them, Raito began to struggle harder. He managed to kick the third boy in the kneecap. That was when he saw the white blur running towards them.

"L?"

* * *

 **Thank you to sohesy** **, Cyinamas, Callicanios, and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

_March_

L was alone in his and Light's room. Since Light was missing in action, L had decided to build a very tall tower of sugar cubes on their desk. Although he was slightly put off by the fact that he had to leave campus to purchase said sugar cubes, he knew his effort would be worth it once he saw the look of pure irritation on Light's face. He was on cube number thirty-seven when his phone started ringing.

"Hello, Misa," he answered without checking the caller ID.

"Is Raito there?" the high voice on the other end of the line demanded.

"No," L answered. "Raito isn't back yet."

"But his last class was four hours ago!" He could hear worry in her voice.

"I take it you've already tried his number," L assumed.

"It went straight to voicemail," she told him. "Where the hell is he?"

"I'm sure he's fine," he said only because he believed that was what she wanted to hear.

"He wasn't fine yesterday!" she shouted into the phone.

"Do you think he left campus?" L inquired.

"I don't know," he could hear her slowly panicking. "Can you go look for him?"

"Can't you?" he asked back.

"No," she sighed as if this should have been common sense. "It's late. I don't want to get mugged or raped."

"You're over-exaggerating," he said dryly.

"No I'm not," she huffed. "There could be some pervert wandering the campus, you never know."

"If that's the case, I don't see how I'm safe," he argued.

"You could fight them off," she stated. Her voice became serious as she added: "Please go look for him."

"Fine," L complied. He knew that it would be mean of him to refuse, considering he had deemed Misa his only friend. And, maybe, he was slightly worried about Light's well being as well. Maybe…

"Thank you!" Misa squealed into the phone. "Call me when you find him!"

She hung up before he could say anything more, most likely in an attempt to prevent him from backing out. Misa was smarter than she seemed.

L wasn't sure where Light's last class was. Not that the information would be much help. If it turned out that Light had stayed in the same place for the past four hours, L would be very annoyed that he had hauled himself out of the comfort of their room to look for the boy. It was possible the Light had left the campus, but L decided to ignore this option (for he would have no clue where to look in the surrounding city).

Keeping in mind that Light was a prioritized student, L was confident that Light had spent the past few hours in a place where he could easily study. This narrowed his search to a handful of destinations, the closest of which being the school library.

He was nearing the building when he heard the goading laughter, and strangled cries of someone being hit repeatedly. In any other situation, L wasn't sure if he would run to or away from the fight. Maybe he would have called the police or tried to find help. He knew he would have wanted to help, but he rarely got into fights himself. This wasn't because he was afraid of the violence, he had some martial arts training to protect himself. He knew first hand the fighting always led to trouble, and his family had to deal with that enough from Beyond.

This time was different. L couldn't fully explain why. Nevertheless, he found his legs running toward the sound. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Light was the one being hurt.

He shouted "stop" as soon as he saw them, but it was clear that only Light had heard him. It didn't surprise him that Light's attackers were the three boys L had noticed staring at he earlier that day. Two of them were holding Light now while the third proceeded to kick Light in the face and stomach.

L could feel anger rising in his blood. In the back of his mind he remembered a day back in middle school when Beyond had come home with a bruise that completely covered his left cheek. When asked what happened, he only complained about three against one being unfair odds. L remembered being so angry that he had sought out Beyond's three classmates himself. This was the only time in L's life that he had hit another person (well, three people). It was almost humorous that L's next display of violence would be to such a similar situation.

"L?" Light's surprised and pained voice was surprised.

L dropped into a backbend and kicked the sanding boy in the back of the skull. The boy staggered forward, fumbling to stay on his feet. This was less from the force of the blow and more from him being not prepared to take it. L was able to get another kick in, this one sending him to the ground, before the two holding Light down got up to stop him.

L was fairly confident that he could hold his own in a fight against two, but once the third one was on his feet again, he was starting to doubt his abilities. L took a few hits in order to deliver more, but wasn't sure how long he could keep that strategy up. He knew that if he could get a solid kick to each other them, it would disorient them and cause enough pain for him to get Light out of there. The only problem was that L had no window of opportunity with all three attacking him.

That was when Light impressed him.

After getting an eyeful of the state that the boy was in, L hadn't thought that Light would be able to stand up on his own much less help L fight. To everyone's surprise, Light used the fact that all attention was on L as he chance to pull himself to his feet. He swung a sloppy but impacting punch at the third boy, knocking him to the ground once again. Light continued to hit him from there, keeping him from getting up. L took the shock that the other two were in as the window of opportunity he needed and delivered his blows. Knowing that they didn't have much time, L grabbed Light by the shoulder and hauled him up.

"We have to go," he stated shortly.

Light nodded.

L slung Light's arm around his own shoulders, doubting that he would be able to run anywhere on his own. Light didn't complained. He allowed L to take half of his weight as they ran to safety.

"You should go to the health department," L breathlessly told him.

"No," Light hissed. "Just get me back to our room."

L didn't argue.

It was only when their dorm building was in sight that they slowed their pace. L knew that Light was starting to get embarrassed that L was nearly carrying him. L decided to wait until they had reached the room if he was going to poke fun at that. Light making a scene while they were still out in the open was the last thing that he needed.

"Thanks," Light said softly as L kicked their door closed and deposited Light on his bed.

"You're welcome," L murmured.

"No, I mean really." Light caught hold of L's arm, forcing L to meet his eyes. "Thank you for saving me."

"You're welcome," L repeated, a little louder this time.

Light face shifted into a smile. L watched him begin to laugh. Although he was far from an expert on Light's emotions, L could hear how false this laugh sounded. He listened to the metallic laughter turn into broken sobs. He watched the tears form in Light's eyes and then fall down his cheeks. Light crumpled like a paper doll; his head fell into his hands as his weeping shook his torso.

"What's wrong?" L awkwardly sat down next to him. He wasn't sure if he should touch Light or if contact would only make things worse. Light didn't answer him.

"Are we friends?" Light lifted his head only enough for his eyes to find L's face.

"I think I bruised a rib," L stated.

He watched Light's eyes take this in. Slowly, Light uncurled from the cocoon he had fallen into. Tear stains middled with the cuts a bruises on Light's cheeks and jaw, but L didn't point this out.

"What were you doing out this late anyway?" Light wondered.

"I was looking for you," L answered honestly.

"Why?"

"Misa asked me to. She was worried," L didn't brake the eye contacted. "I was a little worried as well."

"Only a little?" Light didn't sound bitter.

"Yes," L joked. "But I was more worried that you were going to ruin another one of your shirts and I'd have to listen to you complaining about it."

"I see," Light was smiling now. "Well, you were too late to prevent that."

"I'm sorry," L's tone was serious now. He still wasn't sure why he cared about the roommate he had only met a few days ago and in that time had only argued with. Yet, for some reason, he wanted Light to see this.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"You probably want to know why they jumped me in the first place," Light's eyes broke away from L and found the floor. "I guess you have a right to know."

"I suppose I do," L didn't argue with that statement. "But you don't have to tell me now."

"What?" Light looked back up at him. "Why?"

"Because I know you don't want to." L could tell that whatever had happened between Light and these people was the last thing that Light wanted to talk about. "You can tell me when you're ready."

"I didn't realize you were so nice," Light sounded regretful.

"Oh, I'm not." L wasn't joking, but Light gave a laugh at this.

"Then what is all this?" Light asked.

"I don't know," L shrugged half heartedly. "Maybe I realized that it's better to try to get along with the person I'm going to be stuck with for the next school year."

"Does this mean no more candy wrappers?" Light asked with a pretend hope.

"No," L dismissed. "I'll just make up for them with heroic displays."

"Alright then," Light agreed. "That seems fair."

"I'm gay too," the confession seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Oh?" Light looked mildly surprised by this. "I didn't realize."

"I just thought I should tell you," L justified.

"I know," Light said. "I'm glad you did."

Light leaned closer to L and placed his hand on his head. L sent him a questioning look as Light ruffled his hair. Light only laughed.

"Just something I wanted to try," he shrugged.

"You should clean up," L told him. He doubted Light would be pleased with his appearance in the morning if he didn't at least wash his face that night.

"You should too," Light told him as he stood up from the bed.

L got up as well, he glanced at the mirror hanging on Light's closet and saw that a bruise was forming on his forehead.

"Thank you," Light said one more time.

"You're welcome, Light-kun."

* * *

 **Thank you to Callicanios, Midnightkills, sohesy** **, LadyRaven83, Corliss Kat, and SadlyNotLawliet for the reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

_October_

Raito had never enjoyed pulling all nighters, but he would take being a little tired to having to accept a below exceptional grade any day. At least, that was what he was mentally repeating as he dragged his tired self out of the library at six in the morning. He was only going back to his room so that he could change his clothes and hopefully drag his roommate out to get coffee with him. He needed as much caffeine as he could take right now.

Loudly he pushed their door open, and flung his book bag onto the ground. He didn't glance in L's direction, for he was expecting some sort of sparky comment about being to feebly to handle one night's sleep lost. To Raito's surprise L was silent. Quirking and eyebrow, he glanced in the boy's direction. His jaw nearly dropped when his eyes met his roommate.

L was currently curled into a sideways ball on his bed, fast asleep. Never in months of knowing he had Raito ever witnessed L sleeping. He had to cover his mouth with his hands to prevent laughing out loud at the sight. The fact that L's thumb was resting between his lips was the cherry on top of the adorable cake.

And, yes, he had no issue admitting to himself that he found the scene utterly adorable. There was a large possibility that this was the most adorable thing that Raito had ever witnessed.

Moving quietly so as not to wake L, Raito crept closer. He pulled his camera phone out of his pocket and snapped a quick picture. Wether he ever had the need to use it or not, he was sure that this would make brilliant blackmail material.

He then considering gently rousing L, but quickly decided against it. L hardly slept in private, and Raito didn't want his friend's rest to be disrupted. His want for company while he got coffee was not nearly as important.

Doubting that L would wake up with in the next few minutes, Raito didn't leave the room to change his clothes. Once he deemed his appearance presentable, he slipped out of the room making as little noise as he could. He waited until he was out in the hallway to let the wide smile break across his lips.

* * *

Raito had made a habit of stopping at L and Misa's Literature class at the end of the day. If Misa decided to force the two of them into a social event, it was easier if they were all in the same place. If not, they would walk her to where every she was going, pick up some sort of cheap take out for dinner, and spend the rest of their night studying in their room (or at least trying to study, L had made it his goal to be Raito's ultimate distraction).

On a normal day, Misa met him outside of the classroom. They both would then have to wait a few minutes for L to wrap up whatever friendly debate he was having with their teacher about the book the class was currently reading. Only twice had Raito actually resorted to physically pulling L out of the classroom. He was fairly sure that after those incidents their teacher had realized it was better for everyone if L was allowed to have the last word.

He made to to the classroom only a few minutes after the period ended, expecting Misa to be waiting for him and L alone. Yet, when he turned the corner of the hallway he was surprised to see her talking to someone, and even more shocked when his eyes focused on the person and he realized who it was.

Raito was unsure if it was better for him to stay back and wait until it was clear their conversation was over before approaching, or if it was better for him to rudely walk up to Misa and pretend that he didn't notice that they were talking in the first place. He was saved the decision when Misa happened to glance in his direction. Raito watched her say something he assumed dismissive before walking toward him.

"What did Mikami want?" Raito asked up front.

"Nothing," Misa brushed him off. "L's still talking about the motif of blindness, do you want to pull him out?"

"What do you mean nothing," he ignored her question. "Have you ever directly spoken to Mikami before?"

"I don't think so," he watched Misa pretend to ponder this. "Maybe I talked to him in high school…"

"That doesn't matter," Raito interrupted her musing. "Why were you talking to him now?"

"Good morning, Light-kun."

Neither had noticed L walk up to them.

"What?"

"I didn't see you this morning, so I'm saying good morning now," L explained.

Raito nodded as if this made perfect sense.

"The polite response would be for you to say good morning back," L told him.

"But I did see you this morning, you just didn't see me," Raito smirked.

"That's creepy," Misa muttered.

"You were asleep," Raito clarified to L's puzzled expression.

"And that makes it even creepier," Misa continued to make commentary.

"I stopped by to change before my first class," Raito said to L.

"That's too bad," L sounded disappointed. "I was hoping to get through the year without you seeing me sleeping."

"It sort of shattered an illusion," Raito agreed, he turned to Misa to add: "He sleeps curled up like a cat."

"Really?" Misa giggled.

"This was the first reason I wanted to stay unwatched," L murmured.

"You're cute and you know it," Raito rolled his eyes. They both ignored Misa's second giggle.

"You're getting bags under your eyes," L told Raito with a smirk.

"I am not!" Raito felt the sudden need to look in a mirror. "I didn't sleep for one night, that's not enough to show."

"You sound so worried," Misa let him know.

"We both knew how conceited he was," L said to her.

"Caring about my appearance does not make me conceited," Raito crossed his arms. "Besides, Misa cares more about how she looks than I do about myself."

"Yeah, but I'm a girl," Misa dismissed.

"That's kind of sexist," Raito remarked.

"Now you sound like your sister," she replied. "I'm also a model, if I don't look nice it will hurt my career."

"That excuse I will take," Raito accepted.

"I'm pretty sure you listened to the sexist one as well," L drawled.

"I don't remember asking your opinion," Raito told him.

"Light-kun, please don't ever feel that my opinion is something that you have to ask for," L snarked in mock sincerity.

"You guys are so cute," Misa said.

"What as that?" L had clearly heard her the first time.

"Nothing," she told him with a grin.

* * *

"I'm going to crash," Raito complained once they were back in their room.

"You crash every night," L said dryly.

"I do not," Raito dismissed.

"You do," L needed to have the last word, no matter how childish said words were.

"Goodnight," Raito said as he let himself fall onto his bed.

"You have homework," L reminded him.

Raito sighed dramatically before covering his face with his pillow.

"Light-kun, what is this?" L's voice was a mixture of humor and confusion.

Raito looked up to see L holding his cell phone between two of his fingers. The screen displayed the picture that Raito had taken that morning. Never is his life had Raito felt more 'caught in the act.' He let out a nervous laugh, unable to think of a way to explain himself without sounding like a pervert.

"You sleeping," he sheepishly tried.

 _Yup,_ he thought. _Complete pervert._

"I can see that much," L deadpanned.

"Why did you open my phone in the first place?" Raito meant this more out of curiosity than accusation.

"You dropped it," L stated.

"So you decided to look through my pictures?" Raito raised an eyebrow.

L merely shrugged. He pressed a few more buttons that Raito couldn't see from his angle, before tossing the phone back to it's owner. Raito turned the screen on, expecting that L had deleted the picture. Instead he found that his roommate had made the image of himself sleeping Raito's screen saver.

"Why?" Raito had to ask.

"If you can't beat them, join them," L stated.

"Like you would ever live buy that," Raito scoffed.

"You're right," L admitted. "Maybe I'm trying to be less self-conscious. You may change the picture if you want."

"No," Raito chuckled. "I think I'll keep it, it's cute."

"Why does everyone love using that word?" L muttered more to himself than to Raito.

"Because _you're_ cute," Raito answered him anyway.

"Whatever you say, Light-kun." L shrugged, but Raito noticed him turn his face away. Possibly to conceal a blush, but Raito wasn't entirely sure.

* * *

 **Thank you to Guest, Corliss Kat, HisokaxTheMagician, and Callicanios for the reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

_October_

It took three tries for L, Light, and Misa to find a coffee shop to eat lunch at. While Misa was annoyed at having the leave the first two cafes, L was pleased that it wasn't entirely his fault that they had been kicked out in the first place. Light shared at least half of the blame, although you couldn't tell this from how high and mighty he was behaving.

"He's always like that," Misa commented after L voiced this observation.

"I don't think it's fair that the two of you gang up on me all the time," Light crossed his arms.

"Who else is there to gang up on?" L asked him. "When I make fun of Misa she takes it personally."

"And L doesn't get offended by anything I say," Misa added. "So you have to be the target."

"That is not fair in the slightest," Light complained.

"Light-kun, someday you will learn that life isn't always fair." L had meant this as a joke, but the look on Light's face after it was said showed that his friend didn't find it funny.

"Can one of you walk me to my photo shoot tomorrow?" Misa changed the subject.

"Why do you always want an escort?" L asked.

"It makes me look good," she answered honestly.

"If it's a nice appearance that you want, you should go with Light-kun," L advised. "I would only scare your coworkers."

"What did I say about being hard on yourself," Light gave him the sort of look a parent would give to a teenager.

"Oh, I would scare them on purpose," L added.

"Raito, you're going then," Misa decided. She gestured to L, "I don't want to see what he thinks he can come up with."

"You really don't," L agreed with a wide grin.

"I'm going to order now," Light decided. "L wants cake. Misa?"

"I don't know," she glanced at the menu posted on the wall over the cash register.

L disconnected from the conversation in order to turn his attention to his laptop. He pulled up a page that he had accidentally, but very fortunately, stumbled upon. It seemed that Beyond had been tasked with creating a blog for one of his classes. L was still a little surprised that a college had accepted his younger brother, and even more so that Wammy had let Beyond travel all the way to America unsupervised for his studies.

L was in the process of reading the article and taking notes of spelling or factual errors on a separate document. Once he had finished reading, he organized his observations in the form of a critical comment. Not wanting Beyond to think that one of his classmates was pointing out his flaws, L made sure to sign it 'your loving brother.' He was positive that B would know off the bat which brother it was.

"Were you actually ordering or just flirting with the guy at the cash register?" L heard Misa asked accusingly once Light returned to their table.

"Keep it going," L spoke up. "He might give us a discount."

"I need help carrying the food," Light stated. "And, if he does, will you pay for the rest of it?"

"No," L sighed as he stood up from the table. "It's your turn, I paid for breakfast."

"I'll pay after I get my paycheck," Misa volunteered.

"You say that every time," L reminded her. "Then you spend the money on something useless."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Usually new clothes," Light put in.

"Clothes are important," Misa said in her defense. "Do you want me to just walk around naked or something?"

"No," L said quickly.

"I'm pretty sure the majority of our classmates wouldn't complain," Light laughed.

"Of course they wouldn't," Misa took this as a compliment.

L turned his attention back to his laptop to check if Beyond had replied to his comment yet. While his eyes were on the scene, he felt Light gently tug the fork he was holding out of his hand. L turned his head to watch Light take a bite of his cake.

"If you wanted some you could have asked," L tried to take his fork back, but Light held it out of reach.

"Where's the fun in that?" Light took another forkful.

"That's too much," L complained.

Light pretended not to hear, and acted like he was about to eat the bite of cake. But instead of doing so, he pulled the fork away from his mouth at the last second, and smashed the cake onto L's face. L rolled his eyes and tried to wipe the frosting that he couldn't reach with his tongue off with a napkin. Light cackled evilly. Misa stared at both of them. It was only once Light excused himself to go to the restroom that she spoke.

"Is there something going on between you two?" She asked, L could tell that she was trying to conceal her hope toward the thought.

"No," he shrugged her off.

"Really?" her eyes narrowed in good-natured suspicion.

"That's just how Raito behaves," L justified the cake stealing. "You should know that, you've known him more than I have."

"Raito flirts with people when he thinks there will be no consequences," Misa stated.

"And that doesn't apply to this situation?" L raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you're right," she did not sound convinced in the slightest.

* * *

"The guy working at that cafe we ate at today gave me his number," Light told L when they were back in their room and Misa was gone.

"When?" L had only noticed Light talk to this person when ordering and paying for the food.

"When I was coming back from the bathroom," Light answered.

"Ah," L had been too busy telling Misa that he and Light had no attraction to each other at that time. "What was your reaction."

"I think I smiled," Light tried to remember. "Maybe that lead him on."

"You're not going to call him?" L needed clarification.

"Of course not," Light dismissed, but then thought better of his phrasing: "I mean, why should I? I don't know him."

"Attraction," L shrugged. "Why flirt with someone if you have no interest in them?"

"It's not that I didn't think he was attractive," Light stammered. "But I didn't mean anything."

"It seems he thought that you did," L pointed out.

"I was just fooling around," Light justified.

"Maybe you should avoid fooling around like that," L blandly suggested.

"Usually people don't take me seriously," Light brushed him off.

"Yet, when they do, you come off as rude an manipulative," L murmured.

"What?" Light looked confused and offended.

"Never mind," L wished he hadn't spoken. "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing," Light reiterated. "And feel sorry about it."

"We'll have to find a new coffee shop," L realized.

"Misa's going to kill us," Light joked. "After you got us banded from half of the places in this neighborhood."

"If I recall correctly, Light-kun was the one who started shouting at the second cafe," L reminded him.

"We both know you provoked me on purpose," Light defended himself.

"Light-kun is easy to get a rise off of," L admitted with a slight smile.

"Am I now?" Light chuckled.

"How long have you been friends with Misa?" L knew that the question sounded like it was coming out of nowhere, but by now Light was used to these sort of seemingly random conversations from him.

"We've only been close friends for about a year," Light told him. "But we've known each other since we first started high school."

L nodded, taking in the information.

"Actually," a grin broke across Light's face. "She used to have a thing for me."

"Poor girl," L deadpanned.

"Hey," Light crossed his arms.

"If she couldn't tell that you were gay, she deserves some pity." L bluntly said.

"I'll have you know, I used to come off as very straight," Light argued.

"I lack the imagination needed to picture this," L kept all expression from his face.

"Shut up," Light rolled his eyes.

"Did you and Misa date when you were pretending to be straight?" L wondered.

"Sort of," Light brushed the question off. "It didn't work out."

"Obviously."

"Yeah," Light laughed again.

* * *

 **Thanks to Callicanios, LadyRaven83, and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	8. Chapter 8

_October_

Instead of waking up at six in the morning to the agonizing sound of his alarm clock, Raito found himself drifting into consciousness to something soft repeatedly hitting his face. It was only when his mind was awake enough to realize that this was not normal that he began to get annoyed.

"L," he groaned, not yet opening his eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

When L did not respond, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. This first thing that Raito saw was that his bed was covered in crumpled up tissues. His line of vision shot to his roommate in time to watch him throw another tissue.

"What is wrong with you?" Raito wasn't sure if he should laugh of shout. He sprang out of his bed in disgust.

"They're not used," L informed him.

Raito let out a sigh of relief and fell back onto his bed. His eyes darted to his clock. The suspicions that it was earlier than two in the morning he had harbored upon waking were confirmed.

"Why, pray tell, are you throwing unused tissues at me at this ungodly hour?" Raito asked in the most unamused voice he could muster.

"I'm bored." To L this seemed a just excuse.

Raito threw his pillow at L's face.

* * *

Out of a sympathy that he rarely displayed, L allowed Raito to sleep for the rest of the night. When his alarm did go off, Raito was surprised to find that L was still in bed. To his disappointment, L was awake.

"Have you just been staring at the ceiling for the past four hours?" Raito asked as he pulled himself out of bed and walked to his closet.

"I've been thinking," L drawled.

"About?" Raito asked over his shoulder.

"None of your business."

"Fine, don't tell me," Raito said smugly. "I'll just assume it was something dirty about me."

"Can you picture me thinking something dirty?" L deadpanned.

"Not really," Raito realized. "Wait…now I am and it's really disturbing."

"Exactly," L said triumphantly.

"I'm going to the showers," Raito told him. "Are you still ignoring hygiene?"

"The eyes of others more than hygiene," L muttered.

"Okay then," Raito decided not to push him to say anymore.

Showering in the morning helped wake Raito up. He learned that this was especially helpful after nights where L decided to wake him up. After the cool water revived him, Raito dressed and brushed his hair in the bathroom. He figured that by the time he was done L would be ready for the day. This was why Raito didn't knock on the door before opening it.

"Can we just eat at the cafeteria today—" Raito stopped in mid sentence when his eyes fell on a practically naked L.

"Close the door!" L exclaimed, flinging the blanket that had been sitting on his bed over himself.

"Sorry!" Panicking at L's reaction, Raito frantically pushed the door shut. Only after it slammed did he realize it would have been smarter for him to have left L alone in the room.

L visibly relaxed once the door was closed. Suddenly feeling less self conscious, L let the blanket fall to the floor. Raito gaped. He knew that it would have been better for him to avert his eyes, but he couldn't help it. Even after living together for months, Raito had never seen L without a shirt on before (and certainly had not without pants).

Judging from the way his clothes hung off of his frame, Raito had expected L to be nothing but skin and bones. To his surprise, L's arms and torso were remarkably toned for someone who never went to the gym. His calfs made Raito suddenly understand why that was once considered the most attractive part of the body. The baggy jeans that L wore prevented Raito from realizing how long his roommate's legs were.

 _And what they lead up to…_

"Light-kun is staring," L's voice broke through his thoughts.

"No I'm not," he stammered.

"Yes, you are," L argued, bending to pick up his shirt from his bed (where he must have flung it earlier) and giving Raito an even better view.

"Not staring," he spun around so that his back was now to L.

"Right," L muttered.

Raito waited until L was done changing before turning back around.

"Ready for breakfast?" L asked as if nothing had happened.

"Yeah," Raito mustered nonchalantness.

They walked in silence, and Raito tried to sort out his thoughts without letting them show on his face. He was attracted to L. Since they had become friends Raito had acknowledged that L was cute. The screen saver on his phone was proof of that. Yet, he had never thought that he himself would be affected by it.

The only reason he teased—and even flirted—with L was because he had thought there was no attraction between them. On the rare occasion that he thought of L in a relationship, he had always assumed that L would fine some guy who couldn't get past his adorable face and nature. He hadn't once considered that he himself was that guy.

Did it really take seeing the boy without his clothes on for him to realize that he wanted him? How pathetic was that!

Maybe this was just his hormones. After all, seeing any attractive guy without clothes on was bound to get him a little excited, right? If he really was attracted to L, wouldn't he have realized it before?

Then again, there was that warm feeling that he got in his chest whenever he remembered how L had defended him back in the first week of school. Originally, Raito had passed that off as just being grateful. Then there was his compulsion to touch L's hair…

"Light-kun is very quiet, right now," L observed.

"Just thinking," Raito told him.

"What about?" L wondered.

"None of your business," Raito mimicked the voice L had made earlier that morning.

"Very funny," L's tone didn't say so. "Then I suppose I should assume it was something dirty about me."

 _More than you know,_ Raito thought.

"Do you want to get dinner tonight?" He asked out loud.

"We get dinner every night," L pointed out.

"Just checking," he nervously covered.

* * *

"How was your day?" Raito asked after the two of them slid into opposite booths at a fast food restaurant.

"Light-kun was with me for half of my day," L dryly pointed out.

"I'm just making conversation," Raito said back.

"I don't like small talk," L stated.

"I'll keep that in mind," Raito leaned his head on his hand, his eyes fixed on L's.

"Why are you smiling like that?" L asked.

"Like what?" Raito's grin widened.

"Like you're up to something," L answered.

"Oh." This wasn't exactly the impression he was going for. "Maybe I _am_ up to something."

"Should I be worried?" L raised an eyebrow.

"Only if you want to be," Raito winked.

L looked at him without blinking. Raito gazed back, making his eyes as soft as he could.

"Are you ready to order?" Their staring contest was broken by a waiter approaching their table.

"Yeah," Raito pulled his eyes away from L's. He hadn't been ready, but and ordered the first thing that he saw on the menu. L wanted ice cream, and Raito didn't prevent him from choosing this over a real meal.

"You can't have any," L informed Raito after the waiter left.

"Fine, fine," Raito raised his hands in surrender. "I'll just take some candy from your stash."

L's eyes narrowed.

"Kidding," Raito quickly added, understanding that this was a threat L took seriously.

"Our waiter is attractive," L said with little emotion. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I guess I didn't notice," Raito shrugged. "My attention was elsewhere."

"You mean on the menu?" L asked with a hint of sarcasm. "Because you just ordered the spiciest dish they serve."

"Really?" Raito felt thoroughly stupid. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"I wanted to watch you eat it," L admitted.

"Nice to know you consider me entertainment." He deadpan this, but followed it with a sly smirk. "If you wanted me to entertain you, you should have just said something."

"You wouldn't have ordered if I told you to," L objected.

"That's not what I meant," Raito muttered under his breath.

"You're acting odd today," L complained.

"Maybe something changed with in me," Raito hinted.

"Please don't start singing Defying Gravity," L sighed. "I heard enough of that song when Mello first came out."

"Mello listens to show tunes?" Raito could not picture this.

"He went through a faze," L explained. "But you're avoiding my original question. Is this because of what happened yesterday."

"What?" Raito was too busy thinking about what happened that morning.

"Of course you already forgot," L rolled his eyes.

"No," Raito said quickly. "It's not about that guy giving me his number."

"What then?" L sounded exasperated.

Instead of answering, Raito leaned over the table and tucked a strand of L's tempting hair behind his ear.

"You're acting very odd today," L decided, crossing his arms.

Raito sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

 **Thank you to Callicanios and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**

 **Corliss, this fanfic being fangirl was as subconscious as In Person being Cinderella. Come to think of it, maybe I should have made this one have a fairytale basis. Then again, the funny thing with In Person was that it wasn't on purpose. Either this one is Fangirl (which is definitely a step up) or there is still a fairytale parallel that I haven't noticed. Props to anyone who can spot it.**


	9. Chapter 9

_October_

"This is yours," Light tossed L his cell phone. They were currently walking to their first classes, and about to head in different directions.

"So that's where it went," L pretended to be unconcerned. Truthfully he had known that Light had taken the device, but didn't say anything because he wanted to see what Light would do with it.

L snapped the flip phone open.

"You changed the screen saver," he looked up at Light for clarification.

Instead of the default picture L had never bothered to change, his screen saver was now a picture of Light.

"Mine is a picture of you." L noticed that Light was walking slightly closer to him now, and figured it was so he could admire his handy work. "We're matching now."

"Where was your shirt when you took this?" L raised an eyebrow.

"It was hot," Light shrugged with a strange gleam in his eyes.

L had never been comfortable exposing himself no matter how hot the room he was in was. Yet, Light was more confident about his body than he was. Still, normal for Light was getting more and more abnormal each day. Not that he could judge.

"Alright," L smiled.

"Yeah," Light's eye met the floor, he looked crestfallen.

"Are you okay?" L asked.

"I'm fine," Light stated in an unconvincing voice. "I'll see you later."

"Okay," L watched Light walked away from him.

 _Did I do something wrong?_ He wondered.

* * *

L usually arrived at his last class five minutes before the period started. He used this time to look over the annotations he had made in his book the night before, and think up a few points to add to the discussion. His remarks in defense of Misa on the first day of class had started him on a habit of nitpicking what idea his classmates brought to the table. His teacher never stopped him, and L was fairly certain that most of his classmates didn't take what he said to heart.

"Can I borrow your phone?" Misa interrupted him from trying to decipher his own handwriting.

"Why?" He didn't look up at her as he asked this.

"Because I'm going to text in class," to Misa this was a no brainer.

"Your phone is more advanced than mine," he reminded her. "Mine will take you five minutes to send one message."

"You underestimate my texting abilities," she giggled.

"Use your own phone."

"Raito blocked my number," she explained.

"Why?"

"Because I text him during class," this Misa also considered obvious.

"If you use mine he's only going to block my number as well," L reasoned. "Why don't you pay attention today?"

"He's not going to block you," she seemed certain of this.

"Why not?"

"Because it's you," she said as if this was a descriptive answer. "Please can I use it? It's not like you're going to."

"Fine," he relented, handing her the device.

"Love you!" She sang, pocketing the phone and walking to her desk.

Class started a few seconds later. L couldn't help keeping one eye on Misa, wanting to witness her 'texting abilities.' She waited until their teacher started the reading discussion before opening the phone. L watched as her eyes widened and she pressed her hand over her mouth to cover a giggle.

 _Screen saver_ , he realized.

Misa's gaze jerked to him. He shrugged off her questioning look, and pretended that his full attention was on the class discussion. Light could explain the picture to her later.

* * *

"That was a joke, L," Light was pretending to be annoyed.

"Really?" L teased with a serious expression. "It wasn't a very good one."

"Your friendship is funny to watch," Mello said from L's computer screen.

L spent every Saturday letting his younger brother fill him in on everything that he was missing back in England. Usually Light gave them privacy for this. However, after dedicating the morning to the exhausting task of trying to complete a group project with Misa, L didn't think it was fair to kick his roommate out.

"Speaking of B," L opened a new tab on his laptop and typed in the link he had saved.

 _Fuck off L._

A wide smile spread across L's face as he read Beyond's reply to the comment he had left on his brother's blog.

 _Use a comma next time._

He typed back.

"What are you laughing at?" Light asked, from across the room.

"My own wit," L told him flatly.

"Figures," Mello rolled his eyes.

"I know right," Light chimed in.

"Now I know how Light-kun feels when he says Misa and I gang up on him," L deadpanned.

"Good for you," Light retorted. "Karma."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to be nicer," L added.

"Of course it doesn't," Light muttered.

"How did your biology test go?" L directed his attention to Mello.

"Ninety-eight point five," Mello said through clenched teeth.

"I take Near scored a perfect," L understood his adopted brother's reaction.

"Does he ever get something different?" Mello was close to his version of moping (the only difference between this and how any ordinary person would mope being that Mello tended to replaced disappointment with anger).

"Didn't he get Cs in Physical Education last year?" L remembered.

"His semester grade was an A." No one was sure how Mello got a hold of Near's report cards each quarter. "I think he hypnotized the coach."

"That explains where Beyond's watch went," L hummed.

"Please tell me that one was a joke," Light said from where he was sitting on his bed.

"You shouldn't take everything we say so seriously, Light-kun," L informed him from his perch on their desk chair. "Mello is the one who resorts to voodoo."

"There's a difference between hypnosis and voodoo," Mello spoke up.

"I never said their wasn't," L said before either Mello or Light could go into what the difference was.

"And you know that my voodoo kit was confiscated," Mello did his version of a huff (which was also slightly more angry that the average).

"Sorry, I didn't realize it was still a sore subject," L apologized. "But I know you made more dolls out of Beyond's pajamas."

"He didn't wear them," was Mello's excuse. "Besides, I only made a voodoo doll of Near, and it's not like it worked."

"You should have learned that from when Beyond sticking pins in a tiny version of me only amounted in him accidentally pricking himself," L told him.

"Your family is so messed up," L heard Light mutter.

"Thank you," L said to him.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Light's voice was dry

"Yet it's still under the classification," L dully shot back.

"He wasn't being sarcastic," Mello put in.

"Yes," L drawled. "We're all so very messed up that we find those words a compliment."

"Okay then," Light chuckled.

"Don't mock me," L made his voice dark.

"I didn't mean to," Light drew out these words in confusion.

"I know," L beamed.

"Your friendship just became more messed up then our family," Mello informed them.

"Oh, it's been for a while." L heard Light murmur this but didn't understand the undertone in his voice.

* * *

L was tired but he did not want to go to sleep.

Sleep meant dreams and dreams meant nightmares. He had been diagnosed with chronic night-terrors at the age of seven. After going down the bumpy path of treatment and medication, L had learned other ways to cope.

Well, maybe refusing to rest in the name of avoiding his agony wasn't the best definition of coping. L had never been a healthy person. The back problems he had gained from his posture, diabetes is diet would soon cause, and the lack of victim D his anemic complexion displayed proved this more than his sleep schedule could.

"Are you just going to stare at your computer all night?" Light's voice derailed his train of thought.

"Yes," L answered honestly.

Light gave him the 'are you serious' look.

"Go to sleep," he all but ordered.

"No thank you," L raised his gaze to meet Light's. "I'll turn off my computer. The light won't keep you up."

"That's not what I meant," Light was staring at him.

"Are you mad at me?" L knew that his lack of social skills made reading people harder than he'd like it to be, but over the past few months Light had become the exception. Right now he knew something was different about his friend, but he couldn't tell what.

"No," Light's expression transitioned through confusion before he covered this with a smile. "Why would I be?"

"You seemed upset the other day," L remembered. "After you gave me back my phone."

"Maybe I'm worried that my roommate is going to make himself sick from sleep deprivation," Light sat down next to L on his bed.

"You're changing the subject," L observed.

"Technically, you changed it first," Light pointed out. "If you sleep tonight I'll stop badgering you."

"I don't see why it bothers you so much," L muttered.

"You bother me," Light leaned closer to him.

"I've bothered you since we first met," L reminded the both of them. "It's my past-time."

"I think we've already discussed me being your entertainment," Light was smirking.

"Yes, we had that conversation a few days ago," L remembered.

"And I already told you my opinion," Light was leaning incredibly close to him now.

"You seemed tired," L informed him.

"What?"

"You can't even sit up straight," he continued. "I'll pretend to sleep if you do the same."

"Okay," Light looked slightly dazed. "Yeah, good plan."

"You're sure everything is alright?" L recognized the expression on his friend's face.

"Everything is fine," Light assured him numbly. "It's like you said, I'm just tired."

L decided to except this answer for the time being.

"Goodnight, Light-kun," he said.

"Sweet dreams, L."

"Not likely," L muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Light had heard him speak.

"Nothing, Light-kun." L mustered a fake smile. "Nothing."

* * *

 **Thanks to Callicanios, Wizard-Party-Forever, and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	10. Chapter 10

_October_

Raito had always been a heavy sleeper. When Sayu reached her 'trouble maker age' (which spanned from seven to twelve) Raito had loathed this fact. It was incredibly easy for his sister to sneak into his room, take something or his, and leave without disturbing him in the slightest. Sometimes she would draw on his face, and if he didn't have time to scrub the pen marks off he would have to cover them with their mother's make up.

For his entire life, up until now at least, Raito thought that he could sleep through anything. L had proved him wrong with in the first week of them living together. Raito was used to sleeping through the entire night without being woken up once, but now he had come to expect at least one interruption.

This was why he wasn't surprised that he found himself awake after only turning in three hours prior. His mind too foggy to identify what it was that woke him, Raito fully expected to open his eyes to L staring at him from across the room. At first the thought of L watching him sleep had creeped him out. Now he was embarrassed to admit to himself that he found the idea slightly arousing.

Knowing that if L wanted him awake he wasn't going to stop until acknowledged, Raito pushed himself into a sitting position and opened his eyes to the dark room. To his surprise L wasn't watching him. The boy was laying down in his own bed, asleep. It was only then that Raito registered that it was the sound of vigorous tossing and turning that had woken him.

L was having a nightmare. Now that Raito was awake, he could also distinguish the sound of stifled sobs. L was crying in his sleep. Acting on instinct, Raito jumped out of his bed and flew across the room.

"L?" He softly laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, doing his best to still the tossing and turning. "Wake up, you're having a nightmare."

This sleep was the complete opposite of the peaceful image that Raito had walked in on a few days before. Instead of a relaxed expression, L's face was contorted with pain. He tried to squirm out of Raito's grip. Raito heard him whimper when he wasn't able to. The bags under L's eyes were coated in tear stains.

"It's okay," Raito made his voice as soothing as he could. Gently, he ran his free hand over L's forehead in an attempt to sooth him. "It's just a dream. You need to wake up now."

Raito carefully shook L by the shoulders. This did the trick. L woke up with a gasp, frantically pushing himself away from Raito and out of his grasp.

"It's okay," Raito spoke louder now. "It's just me."

"Light-kun." L stopped trying to scoot away from him, but Raito could tell that he was not yet relaxed. "What are you doing?"

"You were having a nightmare," Raito stammered, suddenly afraid that L would get the wrong idea. "You were crying—I was trying to help."

"I know," L touched his shoulder. "Thank you. You can go back to sleep now."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Raito suggested, not willing to leave L alone even if he would only be going to his bed across the room.

"I'm fine, Raito." It was as if L thought Raito wouldn't be able to hear the way his voice was shaking.

"You're still crying," Raito noticed. He tried to wipe away the tear that was now rolling down L's cheek, but L moved his head away from Raito's reach.

"I'm fine," he repeated, his eyes meeting the edge of the bed. "Go back to sleep, I'll be fine."

Time seemed to slow in Raito's mind as he made a painful revelation. For the past three days he had been doing everything he could to get L to notice him. Raito wanted to reel L in because he was attracted to him. This was true, and even now part of him had the urge to lean over and press his lips against L. He wanted L and longed for L to want him back.

It was only now that Raito stopped to fully take in what this meant. It was only now that he realized everything the boy he had just pulled from a nightmare meant to him. L was his best friend. Aside from Misa, L was the only person that Raito felt he could be himself around. L had run to his rescue—risking getting hurt himself—back when the two of them acted like they hated each other.

Attraction was far too shallow and simple to define how Raito felt for L. He wouldn't go far enough to say that he was in love with his roommate, but this boy certainly meant more to him than any crush or past relationship ever had. Was all of that worth risking on a romantic pursuit?

If L rejected Raito, and there was certainly a possibility he might, he wouldn't know what to do. It would break his heart and ruin their friendship.

Raito brought his thoughts back to focus. Now wasn't the time to think about everything that could go wrong. Right now he needed to do what he thought was best for L. He didn't know how often L had nightmares such as the one he had tonight. He shuttered to think how many times he must have peacefully slept through L battling his sleep-terrors. L might not want to talk about what happened, but he still needed comfort. Without saying anything, Raito stood up and slid onto the bed.

"What are you doing?" Raito could hear the tension in L's startled voice.

"It's okay," he said for the third time that night as he slipped his arms around L.

"Light-kun," L's voice was a whisper.

"Everything is going to be okay," Raito heard himself murmur. Slowly, he felt L relax into his embrace. L let his cheek rest on Raito's forehead, and Raito listened to his breathing calm.

"Thank you," L's breath ghosted across Raito's face. "For waking me up and for doing this."

"You have nightmares a lot," Raito wasn't asking.

"Almost every night," L confessed.

"I'm sorry," Raito felt like a terrible person. "We've been sleeping in the same room for months and I've only noticed now. All I did was complain about how you never slept. I'm such an idiot!"

"No you're not," L cut off his self disparaging ramble. "You don't have to be sorry, it's not your job to notice these sort of things."

"You're my best friend," Raito didn't feel how true these words were until he heard himself say them. This was the closest to saying 'I love you' that he could go.

"I thought Misa was your best friend," L said.

"It's different with her," Raito dismissed. "Do you want to tell me what your dream was about?"

"I don't remember," L said sheepishly. "It doesn't matter, they're all the same in the end."

"Does something cause them?"

"Sometimes nothing," L admitted. "Sometimes stress. They got better for a little bit, then they got bad again."

"Why?"

"I was adopted at the age of five," L's voice was soft, but Raito was close enough to hear him clearly. "I don't remember much before then, I think I blocked out most of it. My insecurities are triggered when I feel lost and alone. This adds to stress and encourages the nightmares."

"Is it because you moved here alone?" Raito's tone was just as quiet as L's had been.

"No," L told him. "Something happened last year. It made me feel worthless."

"You know," Raito spoke a little louder now. "Something happened to me last year that made be feel pretty awful too. Everyone hated me—most of them still hate me—and I thought that I was never going to feel okay again. Then an annoying boy who ate too much candy stood up for me."

"Light-kun…"

"You made me feel like I wasn't alone," Raito couldn't help but smile. "As long as I'm here, I promise I'll do everything I can to keep you from feeling alone."

"Thank you," L whispered again. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't be," Raito cut this off. "Please don't ever feel sorry."

"Okay," L said lightly. "I won't."

"Good," Raito pretended that they were arguing.

"But I will feel grateful." He could see L smile out of the corner of his eye.

"Really?"

"Only a little bit," L added.

"Right," Raito leaned into the crook of L's neck.

"You should go back to your bed before you fall asleep," L advised.

"No."

"I'm fine now," he added. "Really."

"I don't trust that word from you," Raito told him. "And I don't want to go back."

"Oh," he couldn't read the emotion in L's voice.

"Can I stay?" Raito made sure L knew that he was asking. If L wanted him gone, he'd leave.

"Yes." L shifted his weight, then Raito felt the boy put his arms around him.

He let his eyes close, enjoying the embrace and forcing away all thoughts that longed for anything more. This was all that Raito needed. L's hair brushed against his eyelids, but he didn't do anything to move either.

He felt L pulling himself closer. For a moment, Raito wondered what was going on inside his friend's head. L shifted his head, and Raito heard the pillow under then shift with him. He could feel the warmth of L's body heat, feel L's face pressed against his, feel his breath, feel something soft press against his lips.

Raito's eyes shot open.

L's lips were on his. L's eyes were half open. L was kissing him.

Raito was going to pull away. He was going to ask what was going on. He was going to tell L that he wanted this, but only if L was sure that he did as well. He was going to stop long enough for them to both realize what they were doing.

Then he didn't.

Then he pulled L even closer. Then he let L deepen the kiss. Then he felt more alive than he ever had.

* * *

 **Thanks to Callicanios and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	11. Chapter 11

_One Year Ago_

Raito's walk displayed an air of confidence. His strides were long enough to get him where he needed to go, but short enough for whoever he was walking with to keep up with him. His hands rested comfortably in his pockets, but at ease enough for him to not look presentable. His posture was good, but not tense enough to give the impression that it was a conscious effort. This appearance made him into the perfect image everyone saw him as. No one knew it was a lie.

Raito was currently walking home from a date, and easily making conversation with the girl he had spent the past four months getting to know. He and Kiyomi Takada's relationship felt more public than private. Being the two top students in their high school, everyone had predicted that they would fall in love since freshman year.

Now all anyone could talk about was how they made such a 'perfect match' and how the two of them were lucky that they had found 'that special someone' at such a young age. Raito usually kept a false smile on through these exchanges, while Kiyomi would agree with whoever they were talking to. Sometimes he wondered if she meant what she said or if she was only trying to keep face the way that he was. If she was, then he didn't give he enough credit.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Raito asked as the two of them neared his house.

"It's only a few blocks," she told him. "I'll be fine on my own."

"I'll see you on Monday, then." It was Saturday, but they never went on dates on school nights.

"Yes," she smiled at him.

Knowing that she would think something was wrong if he didn't, Raito pressed his lips against hers for a few short seconds. He didn't look back to watch her go as he walked into his house. He never did.

Sayu was watching TV in the living room and his mother was in the kitchen. Before retreating into his room with the excuse of homework, Raito said hello to the both of them. As always, neither could detect that anything was amiss by his demeanor. It was only after Raito closed and locked the door to his room that he let the tears form in his eyes.

 _You're being over dramatic,_ he mentally reprimanded himself. It was easy to think this—to repeat it in his mind over and over agin—but never once was he able to believe it. Not for the first time, he wondered what it would be like if someone asked him what was wrong. He wondered what his response would be. Yet, despite his secret need to get what was bothering him off of his chest, Raito doubted he had the courage to say what was wrong.

"I'm gay," he whispered to himself. The voice he used was so soft, he could barely hear it.

After six years of pretending he hadn't realized, this was as far as he could get. It was pathetic. He was pathetic.

Each time his desperation came difficult enough to inflict tears, Raito would mentally list all of the reasons why it was better for him to keep pretending. There were thousands of reasons, but in the end only one really mattered. Raito doubted that, in any situation, his family would approve.

He knew for certain that his father and mother would be disappointed at least. The thought of what all of the relatives who saw him as the golden child would say brought him a headache already. The only one who probably wouldn't care was Sayu, but only because she was young and far more openminded that even Raito was.

At that moment, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his cell phone ringing. Before answering, he glanced at the call ID. Usually he didn't answer random calls even if they were from his peers, but he was so taken a back by who was calling him that he decided to answer out of curiosity.

"Misa?" he cursed the fact that his voice came out horse from the crying.

"Hey, Raito!" was the cheerful voice on the other end of the line. Misa always seemed happy to him. When they first met he thought this was annoying, but after having to be around her for classes he had come to like this trait. "I had a question on our science homework, and you're really smart so I thought you could help me."

"Alright," he wasn't doing anything but feeling sorry for himself anyway. "What's your question?"

"Are you okay?" her voice was less peppy.

"Of course," he answered too quickly.

"You sound like you've been crying," she informed him.

Since when was Misa Amane so good at reading people?

"I'm fine," he tried.

"If you need to talk to someone," she started. "I'm good at that kind of stuff."

"Misa," he made his voice stern. "I'm okay, really. What was your question on the homework."

"Do you think I could show it to you in person?" she asked suddenly. "It's easier for me to understand you if I can see you."

"Sure," he found himself agreeing. "Do you remember how to get to my house?"

"Of course!" She hadn't been over since their first year of high school, and even then it had been only once and for a school assignment. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

She was only two minutes off on the time, and Raito wasn't sure if he should be uncomfortable by how quickly she was able to get to his house.

"I was in the neighborhood," she explained as he let her in.

 _Doing science homework?_ He questioned but did not ask out loud.

If Raito wasn't sure on wether or not he was uncomfortable before opening the door, after he was positive that the answer was the affirmative. Every time that he had seen Misa it had been in or right after school, and she had always been wearing her school uniform. Right now she was wearing an extremely short dress. Raito hoped that this was the sort of clothes that she wore on a daily basis, but was getting the increasing feeling that she was purposely making an effort.

"Do you want a jacket or something?" He offered before he could stop himself.

"Oh, that's alright," she smiled at him.

"Alright." Part of him knew that he should just ask her to leave, but another part of him wanted to see what she was trying to do. "We can study in my room."

"Great!"

Raito lead the way to his room, and cleared off the school books already on the desk. He offered Misa the chair, and her blush at this did not escape his notice. She showed him the question that she was having trouble with, and—slightly to his surprise—that she did need and was grateful for the help.

"Are you okay?" The question would have seemed out of the blue if she hadn't called him out on crying over the phone.

"Misa—"

"Because I meant it when I said you can talk to me," she leaned her upper body on his desk and turned to face him. He was once again reminded of how revealing her dress was.

"I wasn't crying," he said stiffly.

"Raito, I—"

"Are you trying to seduce me?" His voice was flat. Maybe directly asking this wasn't the best corse of action, but Raito did not want to have to sit through her trying to make him open up about his feelings.

"What?" she looked offended. That was fair.

"You are, aren't you?" He had already confronted the matter, so there was no point in softening it.

"You know what," she had stood up now, hands on her hips. Although her posture was defensive, it look to Raito like she wasn't sure wether or not to be angry. "Maybe Misa is trying to seduce you! You're not acting like you're not interested."

"I think you need to leave," Raito could hear himself sound more tired than appalled.

"Oh," she looked taken aback.

"I'm sorry," he wasn't sure how else to get her out of his room. "But you know I'm dating Kiyomi, and I don't want to—"

"I get it."

She was out the door faster than he thought possible for her.

* * *

School on Monday was not as awkward as Raito thought it would be. Misa seemed to have forgotten, or at least moved on, from what had happened. He had thought she would at least give him the silent treatment, but, aside from a few times he caught her staring at him out of the corner of his eye, she was behaving perfectly normal. It was clear that she hadn't told any of her friends about meeting him that weekend, for they were far worse actors than she was and if they knew anything he didn't doubt that he would be able to tell.

It must have been the relief from avoiding the drama he had predicted Misa would bring, but for the fist half of his school day he had been able to keep his thoughts away from the reason he had been crying in the first place. At least, he hadn't thought about his sexuality until he accidentally brushed his arm across his lab partners hip during science. The situation wouldn't have been that bad if Raito had been able to pretend that he didn't notice. Instead he felt a blush darken his cheeks.

"Sorry," he muttered, feeling the need to say something after displaying it on his face.

"You're fine," Teru Mikami shrugged it off. Raito wondered if the guy was just pretending not to notice his blush or if he simply hadn't seen.

He was confident it was the latter until—

"Sorry." Mikami spoke now, but Raito was certain that he had intentionally skimmed the side of Raito's leg with the back of his hand.

"No, that's okay," Raito acted as if he hadn't read into the gesture.

By the fourth and fifth 'accidental' brushes, they both stopped apologizing.

* * *

It was odd that it took a conversation with Mikami to boost Raito's self-esteem. That is, if what happened that day in class counted as a conversation. For the first time in too long, Raito was feeling genuine confidence.

Knowing that it would be better for him to act or his than wait until it passed over, Raito decided that he was going to come out to his parents and sister. At the moment, he couldn't see what had been holding him back for so long. His family loved him. Why would they care if he was gay or not? It wasn't like he was going to go around flirting with every guy that he saw.

Maybe after this he would dump Kiyomi. It wasn't exactly fair to keep dating her after he had come out to those closest to him. This didn't mean that he had to tell her that he was gay. Raito knew it would probably be better to keep the people at school in the dark on this for the rest of the year. He doubted anyone would care once they got to college.

Raito walked into his house at the end of the day with this positive mind set. Everything changed when he hear raised voices coming from their hallway. It was rare for anyone in his family to shout. Both he and Sayu respected their parents and understood why not to yell or even talk back at them.

"I'm going to hang out with whoever I want to!" Sayu's voice screamed as she stomped up their hallway. "You're both jerks! You know that?"

Raito found his mother sitting in the kitchen with tired expressions on her face.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Your father and sister had a disagreement." His mother's ability to soften a situation never ceased to amaze Raito.

"I've never heard her yell like that before," Raito stated.

"Would you mind talking to her?" His mother asked. "I don't think she'll listen to your father or I."

"Alright," Raito agreed mainly out of curiosity.

"Thanks, sweetie," she really did look tired. Raito wondered if she had tried to end the argument before it escalated to the screaming.

"Sayu," he knocked on the door once.

"Yes?" She didn't sound angry right now.

"I'm coming in, okay?" He warned her.

"Fine," she said as he opened to door.

"What happened?" Raito took a seat at her desk. She was currently sitting cross legged on the floor.

"I realized that I was born into a house of narrow minded fools," she said pleasantly.

"Okay," Raito had to conceal a laugh at this. "First of all, presenting and insult as a complement is my thing, I called it when you were four if you don't recall."

"You were an odd eight-year-old," she mused.

"Second of all," he made sure he looked slightly more serious now. "We don't call our parents narrow minded fools."

"I said other things to their face," she objected.

"Thirdly," he continued. "Is anyone going to explain to me what you were screaming about?"

"My friend Saki is a lesbian," Sayu told him.

"Good for her...?" Raito wasn't following.

"Dad says I can't invite her over anymore," she explained.

"Oh." Raito felt his stomach drop.

"Yeah," she crossed her arms. "It's not my fault I started yelling."

"I understand where you're coming from." He kept talking, despite his thoughts blending between anxiety and relief that this had happened before he tried to have his talk with the family. "But you can't yell at Dad, it's disrespectful and won't solve anything."

"I know, but what else am I supposed to do?" she huffed.

"Talk to Mom," Raito suggested. "At least you won't have the heart to yell at her."

"Right," Sayu rolled her eyes.

"I just remembered I have a group project due tomorrow," Raito wasn't even sure if the lie was convincing. "I need to go out."

"You're leaving the house in a war zone?" Sayu was half joking.

"It's a big project," Raito tried to justify. "And we haven't done any work on it yet. I might be out all night trying to finish it."

"Have fun," Sayu muttered.

"Bye."

He ran from the house. The tears of frustration and self pity that started forming in his eyes seemed to mock him. He was beginning to hate the amount of times this subject made him cry. Only when he was a block away from his house did he pull his cell phone out of his pocket and hastily dial a number.

"Hey, Misa?" He asked when he heard her pick up.

"What is it?" She sounded more than a little bit less cheerful than she had at school that day.

"I was just wondering," he cleared his throat. "Does the offer you made yesterday still stand?"

"Offer?"

"You know-" he was't sure how to make it clearer without saying it outright.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, getting the message. "I don't know, it depends."

"Where are you right now?" He asked.

"My place," she drew out the words. "I can text you the directions."

"Alright," he agreed.

"See you soon," she hung up.

Raito took a breath. He was ready to run from his problems even if that meant running into more.

* * *

 **Backstory time! I know that I've sort of broken the pattern of Raito and L's POV switching off every other chapter; I did this because Raito's backstory is longer.**

 **Thank you to Callicanios, Guest, Wizard-Party-Forever, and America is Awesome for the reviews!**


	12. Chapter 12

_One Year Ago_

"I only eat cake," L flatly informed the two sitting at the table with him.

"He's not joking," Beyond said to Naomi when she laughed.

"I know he's not," she smiled at the both of them. "You two really haven't changed since we where kids, have you?"

"I was never a kid," L objected, knowing full well that she would consider this one a joke. "Neither was Beyond. That's why he's still a terror."

"Remind me again why I agreed to being in the same room as him?" Beyond turned to Naomi.

"Because, believe it or not you're a good friend," was her response. "And it's pathetic that you two live in the same house and can't sit through one meal together."

"That's only because he throws his food at me," L put in.

"That was once and I was seven," Beyond shot back.

"I'm still waiting for an apology," L huffed.

"You're never going to get one," Beyond let him know. "I only apologize for things that I regret."

"Which is nothing," L stated.

"Exactly," Beyond glanced back at his menu. "I don't think I'm getting anything."

"He's not anorexic," L told this to Naomi in a purposefully loud voice.

"You should get something," Naomi pushed.

"I'll get an extra slice of cake," Beyond shrugged. "One isn't enough for him."

L nodded.

Naomi Misora was the only friends that both L and Beyond were able to share, or hold on to on their own for that matter. Part of this was due to the fact that they met her when the three of them were in preschool. The other part was because her and her parents had spent the past ten years in America. Naomi once explained to Beyond and L that her parents met in the states (although her mother was from Japan) and that she had spent the first four years of her life there as well. Her father's company transferred them to England for a few years and then back to America once again.

"And they still can't make up their mind," L mused.

"He's probably going to stay here for a while," Naomi explained her return to England. "But I might go back to LA for college."

"Don't speak of college in front of him," Beyond groaned. "He thinks he can get a scholarship to To-Oh."

"I can," L said dryly. "But I'm not applying for it if we can afford sending me away easily. Students who need the money should get the scholarships."

"You're going all the way to Japan?" This surprised Naomi.

"Yes," L let himself smile only slightly.

"If he gets in," Beyond added.

"Why wouldn't I?" L nagged his brother. "I'm smart enough."

"You haven't studied once for the entrance exam," Beyond reminded him.

"You get other students caught cheating on exams," L knew that this wasn't the most solid counter argument, but he was ready for the conversation to be away from his future.

"Students who are cheating or does he make it look like innocent ones are?" Naomi wondered.

"Both," L drawled. "But he has more fun with the latter."

"Who wouldn't," Beyond shrugged.

"Anyone with a sense of justice," L answered the rhetorical question. "If I were you I would enjoy getting those who deserve reprimanding in trouble as opposed to setting up people who did nothing wrong. I don't see how to take satisfaction in that."

"Of course you wouldn't," Beyond rolled his eyes.

"This is why I'm the good one," L explained as if Naomi wasn't already well aware.

"Good or just not as bad?" she quipped.

"Sickeningly good," Beyond said through clenched teeth.

"Hey," L was mildly offended.

"Oh don't act sore," Beyond scolded. "To you that should be a compliment."

"I don't think 'sickening' can ever be a compliment," L huffed. "Unless you're referring to my sugar intake."

"Right," Beyond nodded.

"But let's not forget the sugar faze Beyond went through back in middle school," L brought up with a wicked smile.

"I don't think I heard about this one," Naomi spoke up.

"There's nothing to hear about," Beyond tried to put the subject to bed.

"He only did it to copy me," L told her. "For a mimic, he was pretty dedicated. How many cavities did you get in the process, brother?"

"Shut up," he muttered.

"Three," L said.

"If you new why did you ask me?" Beyond rounded on him.

"Because I was teasing you," L said in an innocently honest voice.

"I'm done being the topic of conversation," Beyond decided. "Let's talk about L."

"No thank you," L monotoned. "There isn't anything to talk about."

"Not true," Beyond argued. "Naomi, maybe you could convince L to come out of the closet."

"You told me you were gay back in eight-grade," surprise coated Naomi's voice.

"I am out," L muttered.

"He doesn't act like it," Beyond said.

"But my boyfriend isn't out," L added. "It annoys Beyond because it is completely his business."

"He's defensive," Beyond commented.

"I am," L didn't feel the need to take offense.

"You have a boyfriend?" Naomi interrupted their bickering. "You didn't tell me this."

"He doesn't tell anyone," Beyond didn't stop himself from adding.

"I don't," L smiled a little at this. "Yes, I have a boyfriend, but he's not ready for other people to know about it."

"He hasn't been ready for the past seven months," Beyond muttered.

"I have more patients than Beyond thinks I should," L translated. "I'm done talking about myself, Beyond is done with me talking about him, so it seems we now have to bring the conversation to your personal life, Naomi."

"Is that your way of asking how I'm doing?" she raised an eyebrow.

"You may take it as that," L didn't quite answer.

"My family is doing good, but I think we already talked about that." Her smile shifted from one of amusement to one of a quiet joy. "I might be seeing someone."

"Might be?"

"I'm not really sure where I stand yet," she explained. "He lives here, we met the last time I was visiting."

"Beyond, I think you've finally come across someone who can take a relationship even slower than I am," L chuckled.

"Maybe," Beyond smiled as well.

Despite the bickering, this was the closest the two of them had gotten to getting along in a while. L didn't expect it to last any longer than that lunch.

* * *

"I don't see why he's aloud to leave his toys all over the house," Mello was pacing L's room.

"This is bothering you more than it should," L commented dryly from where he was sitting on his bed. "Considering you don't keep your room straight yourself."

"That's different," Mello argued. "I don't mind it being messy. Near is a control freak and the only reason he left everything like that is because he knows it bothers me."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Truthfully, L was getting tired of facilitating the exchanges between Near and Mello. "Or are you just going to complain?"

"Complain," Mello responded. "Maybe break the next thing I step on."

"As long as Beyond doesn't get the broken pieces, you can do whatever you like," L shrugged.

"Why would he want a broken plastic robot?" Mello stopped pacing for this.

"He'll make it into a weapon," L explained. "He's done it before."

"But he has real weapons," Mello said, not understanding in the slightest.

"He gets a sense of satisfaction if he's also the creator," L drawled. "And you're supposed to tell me when he hides weapons in his room."

"I don't know where they are," Mello defended himself. "I just know he has them and they are a lot more affective than something made out of Near's broken toy."

"As long as he doesn't bring them to school again, we're fine," L spoke more to himself than to Mello.

"He's not going to," Mello informed him. "B has more self control than you give him credit for."

"It's not the self control," L explained. "It's the boredom."

"Oh."

"Beyond gets destructive when he's bored, because (a) it's assuming to him to watch other people panic, and (b) I get productive and he wants to be opposites."

"At least he doesn't litter the house with robots," Mello muttered.

"Or make holes in the wall from throwing darts?" L asked with a smirk.

"Near wasn't supposed to tell you about that," Mello said darkly.

"For once, he didn't," L confessed. "I found them under than painting you hung up. Be less obvious next time."

"Will do," Mello remarked dryly. "Did you—"

"Don't worry, I didn't tell Wammy," L assured him. "I may use this as blackmail material in the future."

"You won't," Mello brushed off.

"I won't," L agreed. "But only because I have more powerful ammo."

"I only snuck out once," Mello complained. "And even then I spent two minutes at the party before bailing."

"Hating parties runs in the family," L told him.

"I'm adopted," Mello pointed out.

"So am I," L countered. "They cancel each other out."

"Stop trying to trick me, I'm not nine anymore," Mello crossed his arms.

"Worth a shot," L shrugged.

"Whatever," Mello muttered.

"Hey, Mello?" L was fully aware that his voice came out a few notes higher than he intended it to in slight nervousness.

"Yeah?" Mello stopped walking around the room.

"Do you think I'm taking my relationship too slowly?" He let the question fall from his lips.

"You're asking my advise?" Mello found this humorous.

"I'm asking your opinion," L corrected.

"I think you should do whatever makes you and him comfortable," Mello shrugged. "Does it bother you that he doesn't want to tell anyone?"

"Not really," L shrugged. "He says he cares about me, but he needs time."

"Do you have time?" Mello asked.

"Yes," L smiled.

"Then there's your answer," Mello told him. "Honestly, I think the whole 'taking it slow thing' is putting the rest of us at ease."

"How?"

"We don't have to worry about you having sex," Mello answered bluntly. "That is a mental image both Near and myself would like to live without for as long as possible."

"Right," L looked away to conceal his slight blush. He wasn't going to correct Mello on that one.

* * *

 **Thank you to America is Awesome, Callicanios, and SilverCalico for the reviews!**


	13. Chapter 13

_One Year Ago_

Raito woke up with a start. He wasn't surprised that his night had been plagued with stress dreams. No, _that_ definitely wasn't what surprised him.

After a moment of panic upon realizing that it wasn't his bed that he had just woke up in, the events of the pervious night settled into his brain. He let his eyes scan the room around him that he originally hadn't taken much notice to. His gaze stopped on the opposite side of the bed.

Misa was still asleep. He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The best thing to do right now would be for him to leave. That wouldn't be fair to Misa, but the situation hadn't been fair to her from the beginning.

Yet, leaving meant running even farther. He was already running from who he was. That was what got him their in the first place. Could he really run away from what he'd done as well? Was he that sort of person?

"We're going to be late," Misa murmured from next to him.

"What?" Raito would be lying if he said that she hadn't startled him.

"It's a school day, silly," she sounded very tired.

"Right," Raito hadn't forgotten, but right now school wasn't the first thing on his mind. "I can leave if you want to get dressed."

"Yeah," her voice was heavier now.

"Or maybe we should talk," he wasn't sure where her thoughts on him stood, but he knew that this would help the both of them.

"Maybe," she didn't look at him.

"I'll wait in your kitchen," he decided.

He tried his best to fight off the wave of self-consciousness as he pulled himself out of bed and gathered his clothes off the floor.

"I think you're underwear is under the bed," Misa's tone had brightened now, and he could tell she was holding back a giggle.

"Okay," he didn't find this half as funny as she did. "Thanks."

"I was going to ask if you wanted to borrow mine," she joked. "I'm sure it would fit you."

"Is that an insult to me or to you?" He tried to keep what little respect he had left for himself as he reached under Misa's bed.

"You," she let herself giggle now.

Raito put his clothes on in her bathroom. They were the only two in the house. Misa had explained that her sister was out of town, and Raito had known for a while what happened to her parents. After pulling his shirt over his head, Raito found himself staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was odd. His face didn't look any different than it had the night before. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he hadn't thought everything would look the same. It was odd.

His clothes were wrinkled and he doubted he could go to school without at least one person noticing that he had worn the same outfit the day before. If he had to, he would lie about pulling an all nighter to study, but he had no excuse to why he couldn't be bothered to throw a different shirt on.

After leaving the bathroom, he waited five minutes for Misa to exit her room. She didn't look any different than she had the night before, and her clean dress concealed what Raito's clothes did not. He hadn't expected any different from her.

"So?" She sat down at the table next to him.

"Where do I start?" He honestly didn't know.

"With saying this was a mistake and begging me not to tell Kiyomi," she suggested, with an edge to her voice that he hadn't realized she was capable of.

"I'm sorry," he was sorry for the both of them. "It was a mistake, but not in the reason you think. If you want to tell Kiyomi, go ahead."

"You're kidding me?" She looked surprised, and Raito wasn't sure if this was good or bad.

"Not really."

"Do you want to break up with her?" Misa inquired.

"I don't know," this wasn't a lie.

"Do you love her?" She pressed.

"No," the answer came out before he could stop himself.

"You really are a jerk," she was laughing now.

"I don't mean to be," he muttered.

"Too bad, you are," she crossed her arms. "But I guess I am too."

"Only a little bit," he joked.

"I like you," she sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"I'm not over you," she added. "Am I wasting my time?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"Okay," she considered this. "Lucky Kiyomi."

"No," Raito smiled sadly. "She's not lucky at all."

"I hate her," Misa informed him.

"Because of me?" He wondered.

"Kinda," she shrugged. "Am I better than her?"

"Do you honestly want to know," he gave her a incredulous look, understanding exactlty what she was referring to.

"Yes," she beamed. "It will make me feel better."

"That's only if the answer is yes," he pointed out.

"But it is, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," he relented. "But I'm not the best person to judge."

"Why did you come here?" She asked him.

"It's complicated," he knew that he owed her a better answer than that. "I'm in over my head, so I'm running away from my problems."

"What problems?"

Raito almost told her.

"School," the words sounded just as fake as it felt.

"Oh," she didn't sound like her believed him. "I'm in over my head with something too. This might have made it worse."

"Same here."

"Can we be friends?" Her question caught him off guard.

"Yeah," he smiled at her. "I'd like that."

Raito left not long after that. Misa told him that she was going to go to school that day, but he wasn't sure if he should as well or not. He'd have to go home first to change his clothes and the idea of running into either of his parents and having to explain why he wasn't already at school didn't sound appealing to him in the slightest. Not knowing where else to go, he decided to head in the direction of his house. If his mother or father were home, he'd try to get in and out without them seeing him.

He was heading in this direction, and far too wrapped up in his own thoughts to take note of the people around him, when he collided with someone walking in the opposite direction.

"Sorry," he muttered, then froze when he saw who he had bumped into.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Mikami asked him.

"Shouldn't you?" Raito snapped defensively. "What are you doing here? Are you stalking me or something?"

"Why would I be…?" Milkami just looked confused.

"Never mind," Raito realized how paranoid he sounded. "Why aren't you at school?"

"Sometimes I don't go," Mikami shrugged.

"Really? Does the rest of the student council know that their president likes to skip?" This time Raito heard the malice and defensiveness in his own voice. "Sorry, I'm in a bad mood. You don't have to justify not being there."

"Is that why you're skipping as well?" This question was fare enough.

"I'm not skipping," Raito tried to argue.

"Really?" Mikami did not believe him in the slightest.

"I'm not!" Raito exclaimed. "I was on my way home to get something."

"Weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday?" Mikami asked, Raito watched the gears turning in his mind as he came to the conclusion of what Raito had been up to that night. "Should I assume Takada will also be late today?"

"No," Raito said before he could stop himself. "I mean…It's not like that…You know what, I don't have to tell you anything!"

"Right," Mikami wasn't trying very hard to hide how humorous he found the situation. "And I don't have to ask your girlfriend why you were out all night and have sex hair."

"I don't have sex hair," Raito dismissed angrily. "Wait, do I?"

His hands went unconsciously to his hair. He thought he had checked it in Misa's bathroom. Only know did Mikami laugh. Despite the vexation Raito felt over hearing someone else laugh at him, he had to admit that—with a good douse of hindsight—his state was rather funny.

"Don't worry," Mikami said. "I hardly talk to Takada, I won't tell her anything."

"Thanks," Raito muttered. "Can I explain myself."

"If you want to," Mikami shrugged.

That was how Raito ended up letting Mikami buy him coffee that morning. Before he was fully aware of what he was doing, Raito was spilling all of his problems out for the other boy's scrutiny. Only after he had finished explaining what happened with Misa, did he realize how easy it had just been for him to come clean about his sexuality and the turmoil he was feeling hiding it.

"I knew you were gay," Mikami told Raito once the story was finished.

"Well, you would be the only one," he sighed. "I almost wish I sucked at hiding it."

"I'm surprised Misa couldn't tell," Mikami put in. "You'd think someone like her would be good at that sort of thing."

"Maybe," Raito wouldn't know.

"She's probably just blinded by love."

"Don't say that." The thought of what Misa felt for him being any strong than a crush or lust made Raito's stomach churn with guilt. "I shouldn't have slept with her."

"I don't see how that was supposed to make you feel any better," Mikami agreed. "Or how you enjoyed it at all."

"I pretend I'm straight," Raito tried to explain.

"Does that work?"

"Not really," he confessed. "With Misa it was easier than with Takada. I don't know what that says about either of them, or me for that matter."

"Nothing good," Mikami informed him.

"I should get going," Raito said.

"You're not going back to school after all of that, are you?" Mikami asked.

"No," Raito decided. "Maybe I'll go home, take a nap, and try to see if there is anything I can do to make things a little bit better."

"You could come out," Mikami suggested.

"Easy for you to say," Raito dismissed, then realized his mistake. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Was it easy? For you to, I mean."

"No," Mikami answered. "It isn't easy for anyone."

"Right," this wasn't exactly what Raito wanted to hear.

"I can walk you home," Mikami suggested.

As they left the cafe, Mikami accidentally bumped into Raito.

"Sorry," he stated.

"Don't tell me we're doing that again," Raito laughed as he remembered class the day before.

"I wouldn't mind doing that again," Mikami made it clear that he was flirting. Raito wondered why no one ever came onto him subtly.

"Yeah," he felt himself smirk. "Maybe we should. It might help both of us."

Mikami's place was closer than Raito's. He said his parents were never around, and didn't elaborate much. Raito didn't ask, simply taking note of the fact that they would not be interrupted. In the back of his mind, Raito sarcastically laughed at how every attempt he made to make things better only ended in him making everything worse.

* * *

 **Thank you to Trash Lord Supreme, Corliss Kat, Callicanios, Wizard-Party-Forever, and America is Awesome for the reviews!**


	14. Chapter 14

_One Year Ago_

L knew Beyond was Skyping Naomi in his room. As much as he wanted to actually be a part of the conversation—and knew that if he walked into the room Naomi would insist that he stay—L decided that it would be more fun to eaves drop on the both of them. Wether or not sitting with his right ear pressed against Beyond's door was bad for his back or not. This decision was only slightly influence by the fact that he was sure they would be talking about him.

"I don't nag him!" L heard Beyond exclaimed, proving his point exactly. "I make fun of him. There's a difference."

"It sounded like nagging to me," Naomi defended her previous remark. "I've seen the three of you five times, and you haven't stopped nagging him every time he was in the room with you."

"When you call it nagging, it makes me sound like an immature child," Beyond complained.

"Exactly." L could picture the expression on Naomi's face as she finished this.

"If anyone is immature, it's him not me," Beyond muttered.

"Or the both of you," she added dryly.

"I won't argue," Beyond decided. "It's a family trait."

"You're adopted," she pointed out.

"I didn't say it was biological," he responded.

"Right," Naomi must have thought it was better to accept the nonsensical from Beyond. "What I was trying to say is that you shouldn't badger him about something that makes him happy."

"By that you mean his love life," Beyond picked up on.

"Yes," Naomi confirmed.

"Fine," he sighed. "If you'll shut up about it so will I…for the moment."

"That's all any of us can ask of you," Naomi voiced.

"I have short term memory when it comes to listening to others," Beyond agreed.

"L told me that's why you're still single," Naomi stated.

"There's a list," Beyond said back. "Well, it's more like a two-hundred paged book."

"I would ask for a copy," Naomi started.

"But I'd have to kill you once you finished it," Beyond finished.

"Of course," she sighed.

"That one isn't a family trait, but I think I passed it onto Mello," he added. "Along with my anger issues. Anyway, what's new with you."

"Great segway," she commented. "However, something is new with me."

"You realize L's the one who will pretend we're more interested that we actually are," he deadpanned.

"Funny," she shot back.

"I mean it, but continue." This was Beyond's version of an apology.

"I'm officially no longer single," she told him.

"No, I have to deal with another couple," Beyond pretended to complain. "What's his name—it's a he, right?"

"Yes." L could imagine her rolling her eyes at this.

"Name?" Beyond repeated.

When she answered, L's world stopped.

"What?" The part of L's brain that was still listening registered Beyond's confused voice. "You said he lives here?"

"I didn't say," she said slower, possibly picking up on Beyond's reaction. "But, yes, do you know him."

"I think so," Beyond was trying to cover his own shock. "The name just sounded familiar. I have to go."

"What?"

Even through the myriad of emotions he was enduring, L still had the sense to stumble to his own room before Beyond opened the door. He knew that Beyond was headed in his direction, and wasn't sure if he wanted to pretend that he hadn't heard the conversation or not. Not that either choice would do him any good. Not that either would change the fact that Naomi had just said that she was in a relationship with his boyfriend.

"L, are you in here?" Beyond's voice was accompanied by a series of loud banging on the door.

"Knocking," L mused loud enough for Beyond to hear him. "Are you trying something new, B?"

The joke fell flat, but L doubted Beyond would notice.

"I was talking to Naomi," Beyond started.

"She is the only friend you have," L added dully.

"I need to tell you something," Beyond tried.

"Which is why you barged into my room," L continued.

"I'm being serious," Beyond growled.

"Clearly," L patronizingly agreed. "I'm only every able to fluster you when you have something important to say. What is it?"

"Naomi told me…" Beyond looked like he was searching the right words to say.

"Go on?" L said bitterly.

"I hate you," Beyond sounded a little sad now.

"Is that all?" L asked cautiously, he didn't know why Beyond spilled the news that had broken L's heart moments ago.

"Yes," he said through gritted teeth. L watched him turn to leave the room.

"When you Skype or take phone calls in your room I listen at the door," L blurted.

"What?" Beyond whirled around in an almost feminine manner.

"I've been doing it since we were kids," L continued with the smallest hint of a smile. "I'm surprised you haven't caught me after all of these years, although, it's not like you have that many phone calls."

"You were listening," Beyond stated, his face contorting into the expression that he used when he was trying his hardest to understand L.

"Yes," L brought his eyes away from Beyond and to the ground. "It's kind that you tried to spare my feelings."

"You're welcome," Beyond's voice was stiff.

"Should I take that to mean that you care about me?" L chanced asking.

"You're my brother," Beyond said a note away from dismissively.

"Thank you," L's voice was softer than he let it get around Beyond.

"What are you going to do?" Beyond seemed to be asking out of both curiosity and closest thing to sympathy that L would acknowledge from him.

"Yell," L said with a pained laugh. "Cry, blame myself, and then wait for you to say 'I told you so.'"

"I told you so," Beyond deadpanned.

"Funny," L muttered. "Can I be alone now?"

"Yeah." Beyond closed the door on his way out.

It was only when the silent tears met his cheeks that L realized he was crying.

* * *

Beyond had once accused L of having an eating disorder. This wasn't something that L had ever argued. He understood his own need to replace whatever negative feelings he was harboring with sugar, and had never once denied that this method was terrible for his health. At the moment—at most moments—L put his emotions over his health.

Instead of charging into a confrontation, L was sitting alone with his heartbreak, cake, and every cheesy anime he watched as a child. It wasn't helping, but he could pretend that it was. He could pretend that he wasn't breaking every second that he processed what Naomi had told Beyond.

L's attention was pulled away from his thoughts and episode five of Fairy Tale, by a tentative nock on the door.

"Come in Near," he called.

L could identify every member of his family by the way they knocked on a door. Beyond didn't (until earlier that day), Mello used his full fist (L considered this his way of announcing his presence), on the rare occasion that this guardian needed to talk to L when L was alone in his room, Wammy's knock was short and concise. Near's was always the softest. L had originally thought it was because the boys fist was too soft to give a decent sound, now that this no longer stood, he was sure it was merely habit.

"Are you feeling better?" Near asked, and L realized that Beyond must have informed the rest of the family of what happened.

"Not necessarily," L answered honestly. There was no point in lying to Near even about something like this. "What is it?"

L knew that checking on him wasn't why Near had ventured into his room while L was mid breakdown. He was sure that the entire family, maybe spare Mello, had realized that this was not a wise corse of action.

"I just wanted to let you know that Beyond and Mello left the house with a kitchen knife several minutes ago," Near said in a voice even more neutral than the one L constantly adopted.

"What?" L sprang to his feet.

"They said not to tell you," Near added.

"Of course they did," L muttered. This could only mean one thing. "I suppose they didn't pay you off either."

"I don't take pay offs," Near told him sincerely.

"No that would take the fun out of snitching," L was already running from his room as he voiced this remark.

"Exactly," Near didn't see this as an insult. "But I don't want them to be arrested for murder, any more than you do."

"Right," L said as he searched the kitchen counter for the keys to the family's second car. "If I don't get there in time start looking for places to hide a body."

L knew this was a bad joke, and it wasn't as if poking fun at the situation made the stress any easier.

"I've had a list for years now," Near sounded serious. "Can I come?"

"Sorry," L told him. He wanted to limit the amount off his younger brothers had to witness this confrontation.

"I'll just ask Mello for the details later," Near decided.

"You do that," L said before bolting to the car.

L had always been a better driver than Beyond. However, that by no means meant that he was a good driver. Fortunately, he was eight-percent sure that Beyond would not be speeding with Mello in the car with him. Unfortunately, he was ninety-five percent sure that Beyond had anticipated Near telling on them. There wasn't much that Beyond could do to plan around this, either than try his hardest to be faster than L.

Looking at the situation, L almost wanted to laugh. He was currently racing to beat his younger brother ( who spent most of his time proving his resentment toward him) to the house of the boy who had broken L's heart only a few hours ago, in order to stop said younger brother from gutting him like a fish, while L's even younger brother watch (and probably cheered). If the situation wasn't laughable, it was at least enough to give him a headache.

Despite driving as fast as he could without getting pulled over or loosing control of his car, L did not beat Beyond and Mello to his boyfriend's house. He hastily parked the car along the curb, and jumped from the driver's seat. Mello had noticed him, but hadn't spoke. Beyond was too busy attempting to stab the confused boy standing in front of the doorway of the house.

"Beyond, that's enough," L said loudly. His voice sounded like he was scolding a child, not exactly appropriate for stopping a would be murderer from killing someone close to him.

"Near told you," Beyond had turned around upon hearing L's voice.

"You knew he would," L replied evenly. "Please give me the knife."

"No," Beyond denied, but he didn't look like he was going to try to stab the boy again.

"Then give Mello the knife and get in the one of the cars," L all but ordered.

"L, what's going on?" The voice of the person L had thought loved him was close to panicked.

Beyond took a few steps back. L gave him the closest thing to a pleading look that he could muster. With a sigh, Beyond handed the kitchen knife to Mello. Neither of them moved toward the car, but L had assumed that request would be a long shot.

"L?" The voice spoke again.

L forced himself to look the boy in the eye.

"Naomi Misora," his was proud that he could will his voice not to shake as he spoke.

"I don't understand," the look on his face proved the opposite.

"I just stopped Beyond from sinking a knife into your stomach, shouldn't I at least get a shred of honesty in return?" L heard the exasperation in his own words.

"It's not what you think!"

"What is it then?" L asked harshly.

"I'm sorry—"

"Not good enough," L cut him sharply. "Do you even have an excuse? Or was everything a lie?"

"I'm sorry—"

"I already said I don't want to hear that!" L could feel tears stinging his eyes, but he refused to let them spill. He needed some pride left.

"I didn't mean anything," he started, and L didn't want to listen anymore.

"I don't understand what that means," L's voice was softer than he intended it to be.

"I can't tell anyone about us," he tried. "You know why. It's different with us."

"You cheated on me because you wanted something you could tell people about?" L demanded.

"No," he stammered.

"Then what?" L asked. He knew he wasn't going to get an explanation that made everything okay, but that didn't quench his desperation for one. He wanted a reason for everything to be okay.

"It doesn't mean I don't love you!"

These words rang in L's ears. He wanted to ignore that he could hear through them. He wanted to pretend that they we're flat, and fake, but he couldn't. He didn't believe them, and the was always right.

L felt a hand on his shoulder.

"We're leaving," Beyond told the boy at the doorway.

L followed Beyond and Mello to the car they came in.

"I should drive the other one," he said to them.

"We can get it later," Mello spoke up.

"You're too emotional to drive," Beyond said flatly.

"Thanks," L muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Can I keep the knife?" Mello asked, L suspected his goal was the lighten the mood.

"It's a kitchen knife, what are you going to do with it?" L wondered.

"Kill Near," Mello answered.

"We don't kill family," Beyond scolded.

L couldn't help a smile at this.

"Fine," Mello pretended to be greatly disappointed. "Can I kill someone at school?"

"Knock yourself out," Beyond gave his permission.

"I'm taking the knife when we get home," L informed the both of them.

"You're no fun," Beyond complained.

"I'm not supposed to be fun," L drawled. "I'm supposed to be moping."

"But you're not going to," Beyond's voice was harder now. "Because you're too proud for that."

"You really have a high opinion of me," L muttered.

"I actually do," Beyond didn't sound like he was lying.

"Good," L said as sincerely as he could. "You didn't have to try to kill him."

"Not kill, severely injure," Mello corrected.

"Is that any better?" L regretted this question as soon as it left his lips.

"If we got a good lawyer, I think we could clear him on those charges," Mello explained.

"I'm glad you've thought this through," L remarked dryly.

"I did," Mello insisted.

"I didn't," Beyond admitted.

"You don't think anything through," L dismissed.

"Yeah," Beyond admitted. "I think I get that from you."

"Before today I would have argued that," L sighed. "Now I don't know."

* * *

 **Thanks to America is Awesome, Callicanios, Guest, and fairytailasaurus for the reviews!**

 **On the subject of the identity of L's exboyfriend (because I know at least one of you is going to ask), I left it open for a few reasons. One of which is because I feel that manifesting that role onto a cannon character would distract from the cannon characters I am trying to focus on. Also, I wanted to portray him the way that L would see or think of him. That being said, I may change my mind mention his name either later in this story or if I do another continuation. I think you can tell who I had in mind when writing this due to the other relationship.**


	15. Chapter 15

_One Year Ago_

Raito was at school on time the next day. He had left Mikami's house and returned home once the school day was over. He was thankful that Sayu had informed his mother of the excuse he made for his departure the night before. Raito would like to say that he felt better, but he knew the high that he had gained at Mikami's house would wear off very soon. However he had not anticipated how suddenly it would.

"Hey," Raito greeted Kiyomi with a smile that wasn't entirely fake.

The look on her face nocked the smile away a fraction of a second before her palm made contact with his face.

"What?" Raito stumbled back, his mind racing. Why did she slap him? He knew that he more than deserved a slap but she wasn't supposed to know about that.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" she demanded, taking an offensive stance to hide the hurt what she somehow found out about caused.

"How did you?" he stammered, there was no point in denying anything.

"You're not the only one in this school capable of skipping a day," she informed him with venom in her voice.

Skipping. Why hadn't Raito been more cautious? He had been so stunned by Mikami catching him, it hadn't occurred to him at all that he could be caught with Mikami. He was a fool.

"I'm sorry," was the first thing that came from his lips. Of course she wouldn't believe this. "It was a mistake."

"A mistake?" she repeated with mocking eyes.

Raito could tell that, with every word, he was breaking her heart. Each remark she made built a wall to conceal what she was feeling. Kiyomi had no idea how similar the two of them were. Still, he was going to keep making excuses.

"I'm was going through something, and it sort of just happened," this wasn't entirely a lie. "I don't feel anything for Mikami, I swear."

"What?"

 _Shit._ Raito wondered what on Earth had happened to his brain and how he could possibly find it and get it back into his head.

"What are you talking about?" Kiyomi demanded.

"Who told you where I was yesterday?" Raito asked in turn.

"Does it matter?" she rounded on him. "Someone who actually cares about my feelings saw you sneaking out of Misa's house yesterday."

"Shit," he hissed under his breath.

"Then she saw you talking to Mikami at a cafe not too far from here," Kiyomi continued. "We asked him what happened this morning—"

"And he told you I slept with Misa," Raito could feel betrayal burning inside of him.

"Yes," Kiyomi was studying his expression. "Oh my God…"

"Whatever you're thinking, I can explain." Raito knew that maybe it would have been better from him to just shut up, but his instincts were to try to save himself.

"You hooked up with _him_?" the look of hurt and horror on her face was enough to make Raito want to run. Right now she hated him. Someone who hated him had just learned his secret.

"I didn't mean to—"

"Shut up," her voice was still wading in disbelief.

"It's not—" Raito searched for the right words. "I'm not—"

"Gay?" she asked. "You've been lying to me since we started dating, haven't you?"

"I lied to everyone about that," he admitted.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she looked like she was going to slap him, but instead she turned her back. "I can't look at you anymore."

Raito left before she walked away.

He didn't want to miss another day of classes, he couldn't remember a time when he was behind on school work and didn't want to find out how terrible it felt. However, he knew that with in an hour the entire school would know not only about how he had cheated on the prettiest, and smartest girl in the school, but that he had done so with Mikami. Were Raito not currently seething with anger that the boy had told Kiyomi about him and Misa, he would feel sorry that Mikami was being dragged into Raito's problems.

Panicking at the thought of the amount of eyes that would be on him should he try to get through school that day, Raito found his feet taking him off campus. He didn't think he could bare watching his classmates discuss his sexuality. Not conscious of where he was going, Raito ended up at the cafe that he and Mikami had gotten coffee the day before.

Having no where else to go, Raito bought a drink and some food and spent the next few hours at a table in the back of the cafe. He had been meaning to set some time aside to study for the To-Oh entrance exam, and some of the material he needed to go over was in his bag. Soon he was fully immersed in the information he was reading through, and it was only when a soft voice broke through his concentration that he realized how long he had been there.

"You mind if I sit here too?"

Raito looked up to see Misa, an oddly timid expression on her face.

"Go ahead," he told her.

"Thanks," she sat down across from him and set the drink in her hand down on the table. Raito's own drink had been empty for a while now. "I heard about the break up."

"I'm sure you have," he laughed darkly. "And I'm not sure I would call it a break up."

"Sorry," she sounded like she didn't know what else to say.

"I dug my grave," he responded. This knowledge didn't make it any harder to come to terms with what had just happened.

"Can I ask you something?" her voice was still hesitant.

"Yes," he gave her permission.

"Did you really sleep with Mikami?" she asked bluntly.

"Misa—" he wasn't sure how he wanted to answer this one.

"You're gay," it wasn't a question.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I am."

"Then why did we…" she seemed at a loss as to how to ask this one.

"It's complicated," he knew this was an awful answer.

"Sure," she crossed her arms. "So you're not attracted to me, right?"

"You're very attractive," he tried.

"Not an answer," she replied.

"No," he confessed. "I'm not."

"Then why did you come to my house the other night?" She wondered.

"I don't know exactly," Raito ran his hand over the back of his neck. "I meant it when I said that I was running."

"And sleeping with a girl helped?" she looked like she wanted to laugh, but then froze. "Wait…Is sleeping with me like sleeping with a guy?"

The horror in her voice almost made Raito want to laugh himself.

"No, it's not—"

"Oh my God," Misa cover her gasp. "You said I was better than Kiyomi, that wasn't because…"

"No," he cut her off before she could continue. "It was nice. But it wasn't what I wanted."

"Or needed apparently," she leaned back in her seat.

"Yeah," he muttered.

"Were you ever going to break it off with her?" Misa asked, and Raito bit back the urge to tell her that he was done with the questions.

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"Then maybe it's better this way," she suggested.

"It's better now that the entire school knows my sexuality and hates me for cheating on her?" he asked sarcastically.

"Good point," she laughed a little. "You're kinda screwed."

"No pun intended?" he quipped.

"Very funny," she said sarcastically giggled anyway.

"Are you any better off?" he asked, knowing that she was a part of the story as well.

"Yeah," Misa shrugged. "Most of my friends don't even like Kiyomi. Not to mention some people also see me as a victim."

"Good for you," he muttered.

"Yup," she replied.

"I guess I should tell my family before they hear it some other way," he added, mostly to himself.

"You're going to tell them about why she dumped you?" Misa was a mix between horrified and humored.

"No," he said quickly. "I'm going to tell them that I like guys."

"Oh," she sounded relieved. "Maybe they already know."

"I doubt it," he sighed. "And if they do they've probably been hoping I wouldn't figure it out myself until I was out of their hair."

"You'll be fine," she told him.

"Hope so," he sighed.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of raised voices from across the room. Raito looked up to see several boys from their school looking at him. He wondered if he and Misa could run for the cafe without being caught by any of them. After deeming this plan impossible, he decided that it would be better to ignore them until they left.

"Hey!" One of them said loudly. The next thing from his mouth was a insult that anyone with a brain would deem homophobic and idiotic.

"We can leave," Misa suggested.

"They'll get kicked out when an employee hears them," he told her. "I'd rather wait until then, if that's alright with you."

"Okay," she nodded.

"I'm probably going to have to deal with this for a while," Raito knew. "Might as well get used to giving them nothing to react off of."

* * *

 **Thanks to Wizard-Party-Forever, Guest, Callicanios, LadyRaven83, Corliss Kat, and America is Awesome for the reviews!**


	16. Chapter 16

_October_

L woke up with the pressure of Light's arms around his stomach. It wasn't unpleasant, in fact he wished that he could stay in the warmth of Light's body heat for as long as possible. However, he knew that Light would be awake soon, and L needed some time alone to think before this happened. Being as quiet and careful as possible, L pulled himself out of the embrace and crept out of bed. Moving quickly, he changed his clothes before leaving the room.

A glance to the clock informed him that it was five-thirty. This was late for L to be waking up. With a shy smile, he realized that he hadn't had a nightmare since Light had joined him in the bed. L remembered feeling safe, but he hadn't thought that Light's presence would will the bad thoughts away.

The smile vanished as L mentally relived what he had done. Why on Earth had he thought kissing Light would be a good idea? L ran a hand through his tangled hair in frustration.

Light had climbed into the bed to comfort L from his nightmare. Not once had be tried or even hinted that he wanted to make the situation intimate. If he did it would have been inappropriate. It would have scared L, and ruined whatever plutonic moment they were having. L tried to remember what he was thinking before he had found Light's lips, but all he could decipher was a fierce longing that was still lodged in his chest.

L was used to Light flirting with him, and knew how to think nothing of it. Light was attractive, L would have been a fool if he hadn't noticed that much. Yet, L told himself that he had no feelings beyond friendship for the boy. He knew that Light flirting didn't mean anything. In fact, if it did it should mean that Light wasn't interested in him, for Light only fooled around when he didn't think there would be any repercussions. Light didn't like L, he wasn't supposed to like L.

But he had responded. He hadn't pulled away. He kissed L back and held him until they were both asleep. Did that mean he felt the same?

L had to admit that he wanted this, he wanted it far more than he should, but there was a reason why only his half-asleep-brain had the mind to act on it. L was scared. Love scared him.

He wanted to tell himself that, should Light feel the same, things would be different. Light wasn't going to break his heart, and if he did he would do it in the least painful way possible. That was the kind of person Light was. Things would be different. Light would care more about him.

These words ran on loop in his mind, but L couldn't get them to stick. He trusted Light, but he knew his own paranoia would be hard to over come.

Giving up settling things in his mind, L decided he would just have to wait until Light wanted to talk about it. There was always a chance that everything had been a mistake, anyway. L wasn't sure if this made things better or worse.

—

L waited for Misa and Light at the cafeteria for breakfast. He took the moment that he had to himself to check if Beyond had updated the blog that L knew had to be for class. He was slightly disappointed to find that Beyond had not, but soon he discovered something even better on the page.

To his surprise, someone else had replied to L's comment on Beyond's blog and pointed out why everything that L said was either wrong or not a blemish bad enough to be pointed out. Although the response was politely worded, L could read the defense between the lines. Yet, this wasn't even the best part. The user name for the boy—and L was nearly positive that this was indeed a boy—had used was the letter A. This person had to know Beyond in real life, for the chances of someone randomly finding the page a feeling the need to defend Beyond were far too slim. L grinned openly at the idea of Beyond having found a boyfriend in America.

"Good morning!" A peppy voice broke through his discovery.

It was a relief that Misa had arrived first. L wasn't sure how to broach a conversation with Light alone, and didn't want the talk that they would need to have to happened in a public place. L let Misa jabber about her modeling career, and wasn't sure if she cared or noticed that he didn't understand most of it. When Light finally came, it was hard to calm his nerves.

"Morning," Light didn't make eye contact with either of them.

"Did you sleep well?" Misa asked him.

"L only woke me up once," Light answered as he stat down across from L.

"I woke up late for me, but early for you," L felt the need to voice. "I didn't want to wake you up again."

Only now did Light look at him. L watched the boys eyes search his face, and didn't feel guilty doing the same. Light's mouth was pressed into a frown, and his eyes were wider than L remembered them being.

"You're rarely that considerate," Light commented. L could tell that he meant this as a joke, but it fell flat and rang in his ears the way an insult would.

"I'm sorry," L found himself saying. "I'll wake you up next time."

"Never mind," Light turned his attention to Misa. "Do you have a photo shoot today?"

"No," she sighed dramatically. "Monday night. I need to buy better concealer for my eyes. Between work and school I don't get enough sleep!"

"Light has good concealer," L voiced.

"I know," Misa laughed.

Light only rolled his eyes. L watched him gaze fall to his hands resting on the table. Light was upset, but was fighting to hide it. L felt guilt in the pit of his stomach as he realized that this was his fault. Kissing Light confused him, and leaving him in the morning only made it worse. L wished he could make things better, but he didn't know what else to say while they were in public. Misa, who apparently couldn't tell what was wrong, continued to talk about make up. L hoped that keeping up with her was enough of a distraction for Light.

* * *

Misa left L and Light at the end of the day to spend time with other friends that L had never met and Light seemed to not approve of. The both of them remained silent for the walk back to their room. L could practically hear the tension of Light's thoughts as they swirled around in his brain. He tried to keep his own presence neutral. Willing away paranoia rarely worked, so he decided to do his best to ignore it. Light didn't speak until they were back at their room with the door closed behind them.

"Where do I stand?" The words sounded awkward and unsure.

"I don't know," L answered honestly, but the expression on Light's face told him that this had not been the right thing to say.

"What do you mean 'you don't know?'" Light asked back. "You don't know if you like me?"

"I like you," L stated, this was easy enough to say. "But I don't know what to do."

"You're making this more complicated than in needs to be," Light sounded almost pained.

"You're making it too simple," L shot back in a tone louder and harsher than he intended. "I'm sorry, Light-kun, but it's more complicated for me."

"You started it," Light rounded on him. "I've been hinting and hinting, and you've been ignoring me. The one time that I was trying to just be a good friend, you kissed me!"

"What are you talking about?" L hadn't remembered Light hinting that he liked him once. "I haven't been ignoring you."

"Are you that oblivious?" Light exclaimed. "I've been flirting with you since I accidentally walked in on you changing."

"You flirt with people who you don't think will respond," L tried to dismiss. "I thought that you were flirting because you didn't like me."

"What?" Light looked exasperated. "If you thought I didn't like you, then why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know," the words came out of L's mouth before he could stop them.

"Yes you do," Light argued.

"I wasn't thinking," he tried. "I was tired, and sad, and your arms were warm."

"Would you have done it if you were thinking?" Light demanded.

"No," L answered honestly.

"Oh," Light's face contorted from on of frustration to heart break.

"I wouldn't have done it because I wouldn't think that you felt the same," L added in a small voice. "I'm sorry I didn't understand your flirting, but I honestly did not think that you would want me."

"Is your self esteem that low?" Light didn't sound like he meant this to be offensive, but L couldn't stop his reaction.

"This has nothing to do with my self esteem," he snapped. "Are you hearing a word that I'm saying, or do you just want to make this an argument?"

"Don't say that I'm the one being difficult," Light shouted back. "We wouldn't be arguing in the first place if you had just answered my original question!"

"I did answer it," L seethed. "I said that 'I don't know' because I honestly do not."

"But you know you like me?" Light knew the answer to this.

"Yes," L said through clenched teeth.

"Then why is this so hard?" Light demanded.

"Relationships are hard for me," was all that L could say in explanation. He didn't want to tell Light everything, not now at least.

"Is that why you left this morning?" Light's words were dosed in attitude.

"I needed to think," L's excuse was genuine.

"Well it must not have helped you much," Light laughed without humor.

"No it didn't," L stated.

"Have you stopped even once to consider how I feel?" Light asked.

"I'd ask if I was sure you'd tell me without yelling!" L raised his voice and heard it brake. Was he crying?

"L," Light's voice was softer now.

This was all the confirmation that L needed. Somehow he had started crying, and he couldn't feel it. He couldn't feel anything aside from frustration and maybe…

L didn't resister Light walking towards him, but the only thing that he was able to register was Light's arms wrapping around him. He could feel Light's body heat, he could smell him. The smell brought him back to the night before. It brought back the feeling of safety that had survived the shouting match unblemished.

"I'm sorry," Light murmured into L's hair. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I didn't mean to get upset," L whispered back.

"I shouldn't have yelled," Light replied. "You can take however long you want to figure things out. I'll wait."

"You shouldn't have to," L neared an apology.

"There's no rush," Light assured him. "I guess I'm still a little hurt from waking up alone. Normally I wouldn't be so demanding."

"You must see me as so weak," L realized bitterly. "First you have to comfort me from a nightmare, now I start crying mid-fight."

"It's perfectly fine to cry when you're angry," Light replied.

"Tears of exasperation aren't something that I'm used to." L barely cried as is.

"Does that make me special?" Light joked.

"Light-kun was already special to me," L said with a smile.

Light pulled back from the hug and gently pressed his lips against L's. L closed his eyes and leaned into Light. For the first time all day, everything seemed simple. While Light was holding him, everything fell into place. L would have laughed at how easy it was if his mouth wasn't otherwise occupied. Instead he smiled into the kiss, slightly regretting that the movement ruined it.

"What?" Light breathed, pulling his lips away just enough to speak.

"I know where you stand," L whispered back.

"Oh?"

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" L asked, he pulled back enough to catch Light's expression.

"Yes," Light answered honestly with a grin across his face. "I'd love that."

* * *

 **Thank you to Callicanios, America is Awesome, and Wizard-Party-Forever for the reviews!**


	17. Chapter 17

_November_

The past few weeks had been Raito's definition of bliss. Although he and L were 'officially a couple' in Misa's words, the blonde was the only one who knew about their relationship. This wasn't completely because they wanted to keep it a secret, although L did say something about waiting a little longer before explaining things to his family and Raito wasn't crazy about breaking things to his folks either. When he eventually did tell them he knew that Sayu would be upset that she wasn't the first to know. The reason they were less public about their relationship at school was because neither of them thought that it was any of their classmate's place to know their business.

"Sorry to interrupt your talk, but I need the room too," Raito announced his entrance into he and L's shared room (since they started dating mentally calling it that felt all the more intimate).

Right now L was Skyping Mello, and Raito had promised that he would continue to give L privacy when he talked to his brothers, more of their sakes than for L's. This time he didn't feel bad, since he had given them over an hour. He didn't mind interrupting Mello, because he could tell that his presence didn't make the blonde uncomfortable and vise versa. Once he had walked in on L's conversation with Near, L's youngest brother, and Raito was a little ashamed to say that the kid freaked him out.

"If I don't start studying now I'm not going to get any sleep tonight," Raito told L and Mello.

"Sleep is overrated, Light-kun." L told him, and Light made a mental note to later tell L a number of seductive remarks that this comment made him think. "But Mello and I were about done with this conversation."

Raito shrugged, meaning to give off the impression that L and Mello should take their time. He proceeded to dump the books that he needed onto the portable table that he had bought to function as the desk when the both of them needed a flat surface. It would probably be better if L continued to talk to Mello, for Raito knew that it would be hard for him to get much work done while L's attention was on him.

"Light, does L have a boyfriend?"

Raito froze. He knew to would be bad if he let Mello's question hang in the air, but it caught him off guard. Doing his best to look as smooth as always, he turned to L with a raised eyebrow.

"Does he?" He asked, and L quickly avoided his gaze.

"It's possible," L the statement was just as dodging as Raito's question. "And the poor fool who thinks that putting up with my problems and social skills will be a walk in the park deserves both of your pity."

L gave a small sigh, but Raito didn't let these words go unfollowed.

"Maybe he knows that it won't be easy but thinks you're worth the challenge," Raito tried, his eyes not leaving L's partially turned head despite his efforts to make the comment seem casual.

"You know who it is," Mello said from the computer screen.

"I might," Raito had to admit his was enjoying this. With a slight shrug he added: "But L's love life is none of my business."

"That's not exactly true," L spoke up now and Raito could see the smile teasing the corners of his mouth. "I'd say that, as my roommate and best friend, my love life is about as much your business as it is Mello's."

"Very funny," Mello seemed to understand that he wasn't about to get an answer from either of them.

"I'm only taking a precaution. Considering you did nothing to stop Beyond from nearly stabbing my last boyfriend," L informed his brother in a close to stern voice. Raito gave a start at this comment, but L continued without noticing. "I'm not sure I want to give you two much information about my current one for the moment."

"He did what?" Raito needed to voice his concern at this one.

"In Beyond's and my own defense," Mello said in a half amused tone. "B only tried to kill him because he cheated on you."

"And, as warmed as my heart is to know that the two of you care, I'm still not telling you right now," L concluded. "Goodbye Mello. Good luck with your plan."

With that he ended the call.

"Plan?" Raito wondered.

"Nothing," L shrugged. "High-school romantic drama."

"Say no more," Raito laughed.

"That's all I could say anyway," L informed him.

"Sworn to secrecy?" Raito asked.

"Exactly," L confirmed with a bright smile.

"I'm not saying that I want to know," Raito gave him a sinister grin. "But I know how loose your lips can be when I want them to be."

"That's assuming that you have any power over them," L smirked back.

"What? Are you going to say I don't?" Raito teased.

"I let you think that you do so you can feel good about yourself," L said flatly.

"We'll see about that," Raito laughed before pulling the boy into his arms.

Their lips met and they fell backwards onto Raito's bed. One of Raito's hands tangled in L's hair, the other rested on his boyfriend's hips as he pulled his light body on top of him. L's elbows met the bed on either side of Raito's head, pushed their faces together even more. Raito felt the longing grow inside of him as he continued to kiss L. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he was reaching under L's shirt, letting his touch trail along his back and down again. His fingers played with the hem of L's jeans before moving further.

"Light?" L had pulled back now.

"Sorry," Raito retrieved his hand, embarrassment covering his face. "I didn't mean to—I mean, we should probably talk before I—I mean we—"

"I'm sorry," L retreated from his position over Raito in order to sit next to him.

"When I think about it, I'm not sure I'm ready either," Raito added.

"It's not that," L sighed. "Well it is that, but not for the reason that you think."

"Oh?" Raito slipped his hand into L's and squeezed it. "What's wrong?"

"Do you remember when I said that I had some problems last year?" L asked, Raito didn't doubt he knew the answer.

"Yes," Raito confirmed anyway.

"I need to tell you a story."

* * *

Raito could feel his heartbeat increasing as L finished explaining why his walls were so high. Part of Raito was happy, for he knew that L was only telling him this because he trusted him. Part of him felt for the heartbreak that L should not have had to go through. And part of him was terrified. He knew that L wanted assurance that Raito would never do anything to hurt him like this. Raito could tell him that easily, but once L heard all the trouble Raito had caused for himself in his last year of high school, he feared that L would not believe him.

"I'm sorry," he pulled L into a hug, partly to comfort him and partly to hide his own face.

"It's okay," L told him. "I happened a year ago, and I've moved on. I just wanted you to know."

"Thank you for telling me," Raito breathed into L's hair.

Now would be the perfect time to explain to L that Raito had made mistakes in the past. He couldn't control the reaction L would have, but it was better to let him know, right? If he didn't it wasn't lying, but it wasn't what Raito would call honestly either. L would understand…and if he didn't Raito would convince him. He'd try to convince him. He would be able to, right?

"I care about you," Raito heard himself saying.

"I know," L whispered back. "I care about you too."

If he didn't say something now, if he didn't tell L that he had a story too, Raito knew he was never going to be able to.

"I'm never going to hurt you," he told L.

"I know," L sounded happy.

What L didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

* * *

Almost a month flew past them and brought a whirl wind of school work with it. When the holiday break finally rolled around the corner, Raito couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to rest. Of course L had thought up the perfect idea to prevent this.

"Do you want to go to England with me?" L asked as the two of them walked back to their room on the last day of school before the holiday.

"What?" This had caught Raito entirely off guard.

"I can afford an extra ticket," L explained. "Unless you want to spend Christmas and New Years with your family."

The thought of enduring two holidays with homophobic relatives was enough to make Raito consider L's offer, for both this and his parent's sakes.

"You want me to come home with you?" Raito found this hard to process.

"Yes," L beamed at him.

"You haven't even told your family that we're dating," Raito pointed out.

"I told my guardian," L objected. "And I'll be ready to tell Near and Mello by the time we get there. Besides, I want to show you were I grew up."

"I've never been outside of Japan," Raito admitted sheepishly.

"We'd have to get your passport set up quickly," L realized. "But I can manage that if you want to come."

"Of course I want to," Raito laughed. "It sounds amazing."

"Good," L took Raito's hand in his own.

"But you're sure that I won't be intruding?" he quickly rephrased this: "You're sure that your family won't feel that I'm intruding?"

"They'll be happy to meet you in person," L answered. "I'll tell Wammy that you want to, and warn one of the boys."

The smile on L's face was too bright for Raito to form another argument or question.

* * *

"I feel like I'm forgetting something," Raito ran a hand through his hair as he stared at his filled suitcase.

"Light-kun understands that we have stores in England?" L teased. "If you forget something, we can buy it there."

"I know," Raito sighed. "But I'd rather be on top of things."

"Did you remember to pack my Christmas present?" L inquired with a smile that Raito mentally coined devilish.

"Maybe," he replied slowly.

"I want to see!" L resembled a five-year-old as he darted to Raito's suitcase.

"Don't look," Raito jumped in front of him. "It isn't wrapped yet."

"Why not?" L sounded even more like a child. "Light-kun should know that the probability of me seeing it is even higher if it's not concealed."

"I didn't wrap it so that you wouldn't be able to tell which of my belongings it is," Raito explained.

"If my present is mundane enough to fit in with the belongings in Light-kun's suitcase, I am disappointed," L huffed.

"First of all," Raito rounded on him. "My belongings are not mundane. Second, don't worry, you're not going to be disappointed."

"I'll take your word for it," L shrugged.

"Are you all packed?" Raito checked, eye the nearly empty suitcase on L's bed.

"Yes," L answered.

"You're sure," Raito asked again.

"Most of my things are still in my room in England," L reminded him. "I have everything I need that isn't already there."

"Fine," Raito backed off.

"And I have a hairbrush," he added.

"What?" Raito looked at him with a confused expression.

"Never mind," L muttered. "I'm ready when you are."

"Just let me double check that I have everything," Raito said.

"You have everything," L declared, and proceeded to pull Raito and his luggage out of the room.

* * *

"Stop fidgeting," Raito complained. "Have you ever waited in a line before?"

"Yes," L muttered, but didn't stop tapping his feet impatiently.

They hadn't even made it past security, and Raito was already exasperated with his boyfriend's behavior.

"How did you do this by yourself last time?" Raito wondered.

"I don't know," L exclaimed as dramatically as he could.

"Just settle down," Raito instructed. "Take your shoes off now."

L did as he was told.

"Where are your socks?" Raito asked in a voice that was both disgusted and ever so slightly amused.

"You know I don't like socks," L reminded him.

"You still have to wear them," Raito argued.

"Why?" L asked in a voice all too innocent for Raito to believe.

"Because you're going to ruin your shoes," he said.

"They're already ruined," L pointed out.

"Because your feet stink," Raito said blandly.

"Do they?" For a second, Raito was afraid that L was going to pick up his foot and sniff it.

"Did you pack any socks?" Raito wondered.

"No," L seemed proud of this.

"You're deliberately trying to be difficult," Raito observed.

"A little," L confessed.

By now they had reached the front of the line, and L decided to behave. Raito was able to get the both of them through security without any problems. Unfortunately, it was as they were trying to find their way to their gate that L's next childish interruption was scheduled.

"Can we buy candy?" L sounded as if he was asking a parent for permission.

"Are you hungry?" Raito countered.

"Yes," L admitted. "For candy."

"We can buy a little bit of candy," Raito relented. "I thought you packed some in your bag."

"I don't want to eat those yet," L told him. "Some of that is for Mello and Wammy."

"Well aren't you being nice," Raito teased.

"Sometimes I share," L crossed his arms. "If you buy me candy, I'll share it with you."

"I feel like that one should be self explanatory," Raito muttered.

Raito bought L candy, and that seemed to appease him until after they had boarded the plane.

"Why couldn't you let me by the business class tickets," L complained when they reached their seats.

"Because it's expensive and you weren't the one paying of it," Raito said shortly. "Do you want the window seat?"

"You should take it," L ushered Raito in front of him. "It's your first time flying out of Japan."

"Thanks," Raito felt his mouth curve into a smile.

They were lucky that their seats were on the aisle, and that the third seat had not been sold (Raito suspected that L's guardian had a hand in that one). As soon as they sat down, L took the opportunity to get comfortable. Raito stopped himself from complaining when L didn't buckle his seat belt and instead brought his knees to his chest. However, he couldn't help a remark when L kicked off his shoes.

"I was serious about your feet smelling," he told his boyfriend.

For a second, L just looked at him. Then, in a fast movement, he was pushing his left foot into Raito's face.

"Stop it," Raito exclaimed, as he tried to swat the foot away.

"How much do my feet smell, Light-kun?" L asked with a wicked smile.

"Get your foot out of my face!" Raito exclaimed, but couldn't help laughing as he did so.

"If you say so," L complied.

"You're insane," Raito informed him.

"Yes, I am," L said proudly. "Would you like some candy?"

* * *

The flight was long and Raito took the opportunity to get some sleep. This turned out to be a good idea, for the second he set foot onto English soil, he was swept up into the whirlwind that was L's family. L's guardian met them at the airport, he was older and far calmer than Raito expected him to be. Raito felt that he made a good first impression, for neither L nor the old man could stop smiling as they drove to the house.

L's siblings were harder to impress. Raito hadn't planned to be alone with either of them on the first day of his trip, but within minutes of arriving home, L was rushing to his room to 'check it for traps' that Beyond had apparently set up when he had visited that fall.

"Maybe you guys are as crazy as he made you out to be," Raito couldn't help muttering to himself after he watched his boyfriend dart from the living room.

"We are," Mello informed him in a tone Raito had trouble reading. The blonde crossed his arms before adding: "Now sit down, we're going to threaten you."

"What?" Raito asked, although he knew better than to think this was a joke.

"Well, B's not here to do it," Mello said in explanation. "And you need to know the price of messing with our brother."

He sat himself down on the couch, next to his white-haired younger brother.

"I'm not messing with him," Raito attempted to explain as well, not wanting either of them to think the wrong thing (or to think that he was intimidated for that matter).

"Keep in mind that everything you say can and will be used against you," Near said in a smooth voice that reminded Raito a little bit of how he imagined L would have talked as a child.

"Am I in court now?" Raito meant this as a quip, but he knew that he sounded more than slightly flustered.

"No, we don't give you any rights," Mello took this opportunity to be witty.

"Fine," Raito relented for the moment, and also sat down on their couch. "You're going to tell me that if I ever hurt him my dead body will never be found."

"No, we'd use it as an example for the next one," Mello piped up. "But you're on the right track."

"Look." Raito understood where they were coming from. He wasn't going to tell them that L had told him what happened with the last guy that he dated, but Raito could tell that both of their intentions were to prevent something like this from happening again. Maybe scaring Raito wasn't the most meaningful way to do so, but he gave then points for the thought. "It's great that you two want to watch out for him, but you don't have to worry."

"Sure," Mello made it clear that he didn't believe Raito. That was okay, for the moment.

"I'm being serious," he continued before Near could add a comment as well. "I care about him more than I've cared about any one I've been with before."

Maybe that wasn't saying much, considering Raito's relationship history, but it was true.

"I don't intend to leave him, and even if I did I would do everything I could not to hurt him in the process," Raito meant this. He knew that, if they ever did break up, he wouldn't be the one ending it. Right now he couldn't imagine L leaving him, but that was more likely than anything that Raito was feeling changing. "I know you're worried about him, I'm glad that you are, but you don't have to be."

He kept talking until Mello cut him off by standing.

"Okay, we get it. We won't kill you for now." The blonde sounded annoyed, and Raito realized that he might have over done it as he watched Mello leave the room.

"Don't mind him," Near's voice was close to monotone. "He's been moody lately."

"Oh?" Raito wasn't sure if he should ask what was wrong or mind his own business.

"I think he's in love," Near continued, sounding almost sad.

"Really?" This was not something that Raito had expected to come out of the kid's mouth. "Is that a bad thing?"

"He's not handling it well," Near explained. "Every time someone in this family is in love all it amounts to is drama."

"Maybe it'll be better this time," Raito tried to sound comforting.

"No," Near sighed. "There's going to be drama."

"That's too bad," Raito didn't want to argue.

"If you and L haven't already had drama, then you will as well," Near warned.

"I'll be ready then," Raito told him.

"You can try," Near sighed.

"Okay," Raito was feeling awkward. "I'm going to go check on L."

Raito could feel Near's eyes on his back as he left the room.

"Did they try to scare you?" L asked when he entered the bedroom L had grown up in.

"Yes," Raito admitted. "But I think I held my own."

"Good for you," L smiled.

"Did you find any traps?" Raito couldn't help asking.

"Only two," L replied. "It's probably safe."

"I'll take your word for it," Raito sat on L's bed. "Do you have a futon for me to sleep on?"

"We can share the bed," L said nonchalantly.

"Are you sure?" Despite sharing a room, they had only ever slept in the same bed the night that L's nightmare had woken Raito up.

"Why not?" L shrugged.

"Okay," Raito smiled as him.

"If you're going to kiss me I could do without the foreplay right now," L informed him.

Raito laughed, but complied.

* * *

 **Thanks to Callicanios, Corliss Kat, Wizard-Party-Forever, and America is Awesome for the reviews!**

 **Thank you Corliss for realizing that this story fits Beauty and the Beast! It might not be as obvious as In Person being Cinderella, but you definitely have a point.**


	18. Chapter 18

_December_

"Your boyfriend illegally drove Mello to rescue his friend," Near informed L his first night home.

"Still tattling I see," L mused. Light was currently in the shower, and L didn't doubt that Near had been waiting for this moment to report the information to L. "I was wondering how Mail got here."

"They didn't want to tell you," Near added. "Mail's parents are mad at his sexuality."

"Let's keep your talent for verbally over simplifying situations exclusive to our conversations," L made a mental note to ask Light for further details on why Mail was now spending the holiday at their house.

"I've realized that no one finds it amusing," Near told him.

"But that doesn't stop you," L commented. "How have you been, Near?"

"Fine," Near shrugged. "I like Light Yagami better than the last boy you brought home."

"Really?" L raised an eyebrow, but didn't suppress his smile.

"Granted, that isn't saying much," Near continued. "He seems smarter than the last one."

"He is," L told him.

"You deserve someone smart," Near sat down in the middle of L's floor.

Near had never liked chairs. Usually he made up a reason to this, Near liked to appear just as strange as the rest of the family, but L knew it was because sitting on most chairs hurt the boy's burised tail bone. The whole family knew this, but they all went along with whatever reason Near was currently settled with.

"Mail isn't very smart," Near added.

"You can tell after only knowing him of a few hours?" L knew that Near made quick, but logical opinions.

"He can't tell that Mello is in love with him," Near explained.

"That doesn't mean that he isn't smart," L contributed to the opinion. "Mello's emotions are more obvious to people who have known him longer."

"No, Mello is an open book," Near argued.

"Some people are blind to emotion, it had nothing to do with their intelligence." L wasn't sure if Near could tell that he was speaking from experience.

"I see," Near took this in. L watched him make the connection. "Did Light like you first?"

"Yes," L admitted.

"That's good," Near decided.

"How so?"

"He's more trustworthy that way," was all the explanation Near gave.

"Near, Light is different than—" L was cut of by the door to the room opening, and a half dressed Light entering.

"Goodbye," Near stood up.

"Am I interrupting something?" Light asked sheepishly.

"No," Near said as he made a beeline for the door, forcing Light to scramble out of the way.

"I still can't decide if I made a good impression," Light admitted after closing the door.

"You have," L decided to let him know. "Where's your shirt? It's winter. You should wear a shirt to sleep."

"How much is your electric bill, because this house is warmer than mine is during the summer," Light countered.

"That was an over exaggeration," L felt the need to point out.

"Yes," Light admitted. "But it's hot, and if I wear a shirt to sleep I'm going to sweat through it."

"We can't have that," L murmured. "I'm tired."

"You're never tired," Light sounded surprised.

"Lately I have been," L informed him. "In a good way, I mean."

"I see," Light crossed his arms and looked at L critically.

"What?"

"I slept on the plane," Light admitted. "I'm not tired."

"Oh," L was slightly disappointed.

"But I'll stay with you if you want to sleep," he added warmly.

"Alright," L hopped into the bed that he had slept in for most of his life.

"This is why you didn't get me a futon," Light observed, as he climbed into bed next to L and wrapped his arms around him.

"Yes," L confessed wistfully. "I wanted to know what it felt like to be with you here."

"In your real room?" Light clarified.

"I sleep better here," L added some more explanation. "And I sleep better with you."

"Yeah," Light brushed L's bangs off of his forehead.

"I'm happy you came," L added, aware of how his voice was heavier."

"Yeah?" Light began to run his fingers through L's hair.

L drifted out of consciousness.

* * *

"Can I get my present now?" L asked Light.

"Merry Christmas to you too," Light joked.

Mello, Mail, and Near were busy deciding who got what of the handful of Japanese candy L had thrown at them. L had purposely waited for a moment where he had Light to himself before asking for his gift.

"I've waited two days," L pointed out.

"So have I," Light reminded him. L picked up a package that he had tucked under the couch two days prior. He gingerly put the parcel in Light's lap. "There."

Light laughed.

"I take it you still want to go first," Light ran his fingers along the wrapping paper.

"Go ahead," L shrugged.

Light gently ripped the taped folds that L hadn't carefully wrapped. L watched as he pulled the paper off the hidden object.

"It's a heart," Light held up the thin glass vase. Inside was a slip of paper, Light carefully extracted it and read: "Raito."

"Yes," L leaned his head onto Light's shoulder.

"It's your heart," Light realized. He gently ran his fingers along the edges. "It's fragile, but it can hold more than it's weight."

"And you're in it," L whispered. "I couldn't come up with anything cheesier."

"I like cheesy," Light's lips touched L's forehead. "But most importantly, this vase can store candy."

"Exactly," L liked the way that Light thought. "Your turn."

"Close your eyes," Light instructed.

"You have it with you?" L thought that Light had left the gift in his suitcase.

"Close your eyes," Light repeated.

"Fine," L did as he was told. He felt Light take his left hand. Something cool slid onto his wrist. L opened his eyes.

"You're giving me your watch?" he stared at the contraption.

"You like it?" Light sounded nervous.

"You've had this since you were a child," L remembered Light telling him how his father had given it to him.

"Yeah," Light cupped L's cheek.

"Thank you," the words didn't seem enough.

"I guess we both went for cheesy," Light joked.

"Cheesy is good," L pressed their lips together.

"No kissing in the house!" L heard Mello exclaimed in disgust.

They broke away laughing.

* * *

It wasn't long before drama arose. L knew he was partly to blame, after giving Mello the advise to be honest with Mail, and after the truth had proven a hard pill to swallow. Still, L was confident that things would turn out okay. He dropped Mello off at the diner that Matt had chosen as his location to cool down, and told Mello that he would pick him up if things didn't go well. Twenty minutes later he returned home confident that things had gone well.

"One of us should call Misa," Light voiced his realization.

"Right," L murmured. "She's probably expecting at least a call."

"Not it," Light tried.

"She was your friend first," L reminded him. "Besides, she doesn't have faith in my manners. If I don't say anything, she won't get upset. You on the other hand…"

"Fine," Light sighed dramatically. "I'll be in your room."

"You're such a good friend, Light-kun," L beamed at him.

"Shut up," Light rolled his eyes.

L waited three minutes before following. Rarely did L eaves drop of Misa's and Light's conversations. However, he wanted to know what Light would tell the blonde about L's home (and he was more than certain the girl would demand details). L was reminded of his childhood, as he crouched with his ear to the door of the room Light thought he had privacy in.

"They threatened me," L heard Light explain and knew he was referring to Near and Mello. "No, it's not cute!"

L chuckled, he could imagine the exasperated expression on Light's face.

"It's nice here," Light continued. "I like it…in his room…we share a room at school…yes…stop squealing or I'm going to hang up."

L pieced together that Misa had asked if Light and L were sleeping in the same bed or not. He was grateful that Light was handling this conversation, for, whenever Misa asked him questions like this everything he said only excited her more.

"Of course, in every way." Now L wasn't sure what Light was talking about. "Do you really have to bring it up? I've been trying not to think about it…I didn't tell L."

"Didn't tell L what?" L murmured, trying to dull the sense of suspicion rising in him at these words.

"Because I don't want to…It might hurt him…Look, I don't see why he would need to know what happened last year anyway…Why would he be talking to Kiyomi in the first place…she's not going to tell him, she doesn't hate me that much anymore…I don't want to talk about this!"

L stood up and took a step backward. Something was wrong, and Light was keeping it from him. L remembered Light had told him that he'd gone through something difficult the year before, but L had assumed that Light would explain it to him when he was ready. L hadn't thought that he was deliberately keeping it from him.

He didn't understand how something from Light's past was supposed to hurt him. L hadn't realized that Light knew Kiyomi Takada, and had no idea that the girl had once hated him.

"How'd that go?" L pretended nothing was wrong when Light eventually exited the room.

"Fine," Light shrugged.

L knew that now wasn't the time to broach the subject—he knew that he didn't want to ask Light about it in the first place. If Light was so set on keeping things from him, he wasn't going to come clean when L asked. If Light wasn't going to tell him, then L knew one way he could get answers

* * *

Stealing Light's phone was easier than L anticipated. This was probably due to the fact that the boy was on vacation and wasn't expecting any calls. All L had to do was slip his hand into the pocket of Light's jacket while he was distracted. The first thing that L did was check to see if he was right in thinking that the number he was searching for was indeed there. When he was proven correct, he slipped the phone in his own pocket. He decided to wait until after Light fell asleep before making the call.

"Hello?" Despite the neutrality of the word, Kiyomi Takada's voice was full of distaste.

"This isn't Raito," L replied. "This is L. I'm in your Literature class."

"I know who you are," now she sounded curious and a little annoyed. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"No," L admitted. "I forgot to check."

"Why are you calling me on Raito's phone?" It leaned more toward curious.

"I need to ask you a question." L sighed. "Did something happen to Raito last year that concerned you as well?"

"Why do you want to know?" she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"It's important to me," L stated.

"Just ask him then," she sounded like she may hang up.

"He won't tell me," L tried.

"Then why should I?" Why was she protecting him if he thought that she hated him?

"I'm Raito's boyfriend," L let the words fall from his mouth. "He wants to keep it from me and I don't know why."

"You're dating him," she didn't sound completely surprised.

"Yes," L knew she wasn't asking, but he answered anyway.

"He's going to kill me," she sighed. "Not that I care."

She cared.

"Please," L added.

"Fine," she complied. "Before I start, I want you to know I'm not mad at him anymore. I tried to tell him this more than once, but every time he sees me he walks the other way."

"I didn't realize you two knew each other," L remarked.

"He blames me for everyone hating him," she sounded frustrated now. "It's his fault, even though I've moved on I still blame him."

"This has to do with why he was getting bullied in the beginning of the school year," L had suspected that it might.

"Yes," she confirmed. "Are you sitting down? It's going to be a long story."

"I'm ready, please go on," L encouraged.

"Alright."

* * *

 **Thanks to Cyinamas** **, Callicanios, America is Awesome, and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	19. Chapter 19

_December_

Raito awoke to a cold empty bed, and he had trouble stopping himself from remembering the last time that this happened. The night before L had told Raito not to wait from him, he hadn't told Raito what he would be doing, but mentioned that Raito would probably be asleep before he was finished. Raito weighed the possibility that L had joined him, woken up first, and slipped out of the room without waking him.

He quickly got dressed and ready for the day. Although it was never fun to talk to L about his ability to go a night without sleeping, Raito had a feeling that this time it wasn't just because of his boyfriend's insomnia. He found L sitting alone in the living room, the rest of the household were still in bed.

"Good morning," he greeted L.

"Morning," L sounded dazed.

"Is something wrong?" Raito stood behind L's chair and wrapped his arms around L's shoulders. "You didn't come to bed last night, did you?"

"We need to talk," L murmured.

"What about," Raito kept his tone light, he leaned his head into L's hair.

"Something is wrong," L stated.

"What is it?" Raito pulled away, giving L the chance to see his face and vise versa. L's eyes were tried, and Raito could tell this was not from sleep deprivation. Something happened.

"I eaves dropped on your phone call with Misa," L informed him in a guarded tone.

"Is that all?" Raito's face first formed an expression of laughter. Then he remembered what Misa had felt the need to bring up over than conversation. His face fell. "I can explain."

"I'll save your the trouble," L said harshly. Then he placed Raito's cell phone on the table.

"You stole my phone," Raito hadn't realized that he was missing it.

"I called Kiyomi Takada," L continued.

"You didn't," Raito could feel everything crumbling around him. This was a sensation that he had only felt once before, but now he was far more afraid.

"She told me why everyone from your high school hates you," L was still talking.

"Why didn't you just ask me?" Raito heard his voice exclaim.

"Why didn't you tell me first?" L mirrored. "We both know that if I asked you would have lied."

"That's not true," Raito knew it was.

"Why did you keep this from me?" L sounded sad now.

"I didn't want to hurt you," Raito tried to justify. "I didn't want you to think the wrong thing."

"And by hiding it you've ensured that I do," L finished.

"That happened before we even met, I was a different person back then," Raito stammered.

"Then why should it hurt me?" L asked. "If it was all in the past, you should have been able to tell me."

"I'm sorry," Raito meant this. He was sorry he hadn't told L when he had the chance, and now he was paying the price. "I didn't want to tell you after you told me about the guy who broke your heart. I didn't want you to think that I was like that."

"Because you basically did the exact same thing to three people," L snapped.

"It wasn't the same thing," Raito tried to argue.

"How am I supposed to trust you?" L demanded.

"I told you I changed," Raito could hear frustration mixed with sorrow in his desperate voice. "That was back when I was confused, and depressed, and trying to hide who I really was."

"Do you know who you are now?" L asked. "Should I feel safe because you don't have any reason to hide who you are?"

"Stop it," Raito shouted. "You're taking this too far!"

"Maybe I am," L said softly. "But that doesn't change the fact that I don't know what to think or how I'm supposed to feel."

"You're mad because I cheated on someone I had no feelings for back when I was going through an emotional crisis without any support," Raito's defense morphed into an offense. He could feel himself getting angry at L for being so upset over this.

"Does it matter that you didn't care about her?" L sounded appalled. "She cared about you, so did Misa."

"Do you honestly think that I'm going to cheat on you?" Raito rounded on him.

"I don't know," L said numbly. "I didn't want to think you were capable of hurting someone like that."

"You're being unfair," Raito sputtered. "It's different with us!"

"The last time someone said that to me he had just broken my heart," L's voice was dangerously neutral.

"Do you think that I've just been pretending to care about you?" Raito demanded.

"No," L whispered, avoiding Raito's eyes.

"I thought I already proved that I care," Raito seethed.

"I don't know how to trust you," L murmured.

"This is why I didn't tell you," Raito's voice came out softer and more hoarse than he intended it to.

"Because I'd over react?" L bitterly wondered.

"Because I love you and I wanted to protect both of us," Raito let the words fall from his lips. "I wanted to protect you from being hurt by something that has nothing to do with you, and I wanted to save myself from having to watch you close off. No matter what I say, you've already decided that you don't believe me."

"You love me?" L was staring at him now.

"Yes," Raito tried not to let the flash of hope he saw in L's eyes give him false hope.

"I need to be alone," L turned away from him.

"L, wait!" Raito suddenly felt sorry for shouting. He could have handled the whole thing better. L was out of the kitchen and back to his room before Raito could catch up. Raito tried to door handle, and wasn't surprised that L had locked it "Can I say one more thing?"

"No," L said through the door. "I need to think."

"L, I'm sorry—"

"Stop apologizing!" L raised his voice before reverting back to his calm tone. "I just need to think."

"Okay," Raito took a step back, aware that L couldn't hear his whisper.

He turned away from the closed door and stumbled out of the hall. Raito let his legs slowly take him to the front door. When L's family woke up, he wasn't sure he wanted to have to talk to them. He couldn't leave the house, if he did he was sure he'd get lost immediately, so he just sat on L's porch.

His eyes squeezed shut as he willed away tears.

* * *

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Misa's voice was scratchy through the speaker of Raito's phone.

"No I don't want you to talk to him," Raito sighed in exasperation. "That'll probably make everything worse."

"This is all Kiyomi's fault," Misa was trying to deflect Raito's self-blame onto the only other person involved.

"No it isn't," he told her. "I'm the one who decided not to tell him. Even you said that I should."

"'Even me,' what is that supposed to mean?" she could tell it wasn't good. "Well, I'm still going to kick Kiyomi the next time I see her."

"Please don't," Raito groaned.

"Too late," she said triumphantly.

"What?" Raito might have laughed in any other situation. "You couldn't have kicked her in that amount of time. Or see her for that matter."

"I'm joking you idiot," she probably rolled her eyes as she said this. "Jeez, he's probably never going to sleep with you now."

"Misa, that is not what I'm dwelling on," he scolded.

"Yeah, but you had to have thought about it," Misa said back.

"I think I'm going to hang up now," he said blandly.

"I'm not helping," she realized.

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Call me after he's talked to you," she instructed.

"I will," he told her.

"I'm sure he'll calm down," she added.

"I know," he lied.

"Bye, Raito," he heard her hang up.

Raito ran his hand through his hair, trying for the hundredth time to clear his thoughts. He was startled by the click of the door behind him opening.

"If you sit out here forever, you're going to freeze to death," Mail leaned against the doorframe as he informed Raito of this.

"Not possible," Raito said in a flat tone.

"Well it's not good for you," Mail settled with. "Emotionally, that is."

"Nothing is good for my emotions right now," Raito replied.

"Wow you're really depressing," Mail complained as he sat down next to him. "If this is what happens to happy couples when they fight, I may need to rethink my relationship."

"I don't think that Mihael would appreciate that joke," Raito informed him.

"No he would not," Mail sheepishly confirmed. "Which is why I am not going to make it again."

"The two of you were fighting yesterday," Raito remembered Mail storming out of the house.

"Yeah."

"But you worked it out?" Raito asked.

"For the most part," Mail shrugged. "We're trying to start things over, forget mistakes and all that."

"That's an interesting solution." Raito doubted that he or L would be able to forget a mistake the other had done. Even now he was waiting for L to accept his past, but he knew it was impossible to ask L to erase anything from his memory. "What happened?"

"He lied to me," Mail didn't tell Raito what kind of a lie Mello had told. "Then he told me the truth."

"I see," Raito wished that his own problem had gone more like this. "Then you got mad."

"Obviously," Mail admitted.

"Was it that bad of a lie?" Raito didn't ask for further details.

"I guess it depends on your point of view," Mail ran a hand through his red hair. "I've been working on seeing his."

"Which is why you forgave him," Raito assumed.

"More or less," Mail shrugged again. "Maybe you and L should work on seeing each other's view points as well."

"You're giving the wrong one of us this advice," Raito informed him.

"Well I can't talk to L," Mail explained. "He won't come out of his room, and Mello and Near have decided they will be the first people he speaks with as soon as he gets out."

"Are they waiting outside of the door?" Raito guessed.

"They're taking shifts," Mail chuckled. "It's Mello's shift now, so I decided I'd come talk to you."

"Thanks," Raito meant this.

"Are you mad at L?" Mail asked. "I know he's mad at you, but how do you feel about it?"

"He's taking things too far," Raito confessed. "I see where he's coming from, but I do not deserve the reaction I'm getting from him."

"You did something," Mail pushed.

"I kept a secret," Raito stated. "But it was for his own good and didn't have anything to do with him in the first place."

"Sometimes too much honesty is better than too little," Mail sighed. "I think I would have preferred that from Mello."

"Everything is easier with hindsight," Raito replied. "But I understand that I should have been honest. Too many people have told me that."

"He'll forgive you," Mail told him. "Mello says that when L left for university he said he didn't want to date anymore. You must have changed his mind."

"He's very guarded," Raito mused. "I'm glad that he stopped being like that with me."

"You should tell him that," Mail suggested.

"I will," Raito decided. "As soon as he starts talking to me."

"Are you going to come inside?" Mail asked.

"Maybe," Raito sighed. "Not just yet."

"I'll tell him were to find you when he comes out," Mail stood up and walked back to the door.

"Thanks, Mail," Raito gave the boy a forced smile.

"I think I'm going to go by Matt instead," Mail told him before going inside.

* * *

 **Thank you to Callicanios, America is Awesome, and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	20. Chapter 20

_December_

L didn't like getting advise from other people. That didn't mean he couldn't understand the benefits of a second opinion. If he really needed help on something, he would stoop to the level of asking Mello or Wammy for help. Yet, never in his life had L given Beyond the satisfaction of asking him what he thought L should do.

"Christmas was yesterday," Beyond shrewdly informed him when he picked up the phone.

"I was waiting for you to call," L deadpanned. "Happy holidays."

"What do you want?" Beyond got to the point.

"To know how my baby brother is doing at his American school?" L's voice was the highest degree of patronizing he could express.

"Fuck off," Beyond replied.

"That well?" L felt a smirk play on his lips. "Good job."

"Why are you calling me?" Beyond asked. "You're at home now, aren't you?"

"Mello and Near say hello," L said in a flat tone.

"Sure," Beyond replied. "You sound depressed."

"I always sound depressed," L pointed out.

"More so than usual," Beyond expanded. "If you're calling to tell me your problems, I think Mello will be more sympathetic."

"I'm sure," L drawled, but let himself broach the subject he had intended to talk to Beyond about. "You remember how you almost killed a boy last year?"

"No I don't recall that," Beyond deadpanned. "What about it? Did he try to call your or something? Because I can still stab him."

"It's not really about him," L tried to find the best way to explain what was going on. "I need your advice on something similar."

Beyond was silent.

"Hello?" L heard the annoyance in his own voice.

"Firstly," Beyond broke L's theory that his question had the power to render him mute. "Please give me a second to saver this moment—"

"You've already had enough seconds," L complained.

"Second," Beyond went on. "Mello told me you found a guy."

"I assumed he would," L sighed. "That's why I held off on identity."

"Did he cheat on you?" Beyond asked up front.

"No," L's voice was tight.

"If you're lying to me I will actually kill this one," Beyond threatened.

"He didn't cheat on me," L confirmed. "He cheated on his ex-girlfriend."

"You've lost me."

L told Beyond the story that Takada had told him the night prior. He kept in all of the details that he could, not wanting to at all alter the opinion that Beyond would come away with. If L was going to go as far as to ask his brother for advise, he was going to do it right.

"So then you yelled at him, right?" Beyond predicted after L finished.

"I didn't yell," L argued.

"But you confronted him about it," Beyond continued. "And he told you that he's a new person, and that he wouldn't do that to you."

"Yes," L confirmed.

"And you don't believe him," Beyond didn't phrase this as a question.

"Should I?" L honestly didn't know.

"Is he worth it?" Beyond answered with a question.

"He said that he loves me," L said numbly.

"Because he's trying to win you back," Beyond dismissed.

"No, that wasn't how he said it," L tried to better explain. "It was as if he didn't mean to tell me then, and he didn't jump to it automatically."

"You really like him," Beyond observed. "Why are you asking my opinion?"

"I really liked the last one," L sighed. "And you never did. You were right then, you might know better than me now."

"I always know better than you," Beyond let this go straight to his ego.

"Am I over reacting?" L asked. "Honest answer, if you joke about it I'm hanging up and never talking to you about something serious again."

"Calm down," Beyond said blandly. "You're not over reacting."

"Then should I—"

"I'm not done," Beyond cut him off. "High school kids are idiots."

"Okay…"

"This guy was an idiot, and a bigot, and exactly the sort of person I would loved to dismember if he ever touched you," Beyond went on. "However, people change between that age and now."

"Are you speaking from experience?" L couldn't resist asking.

"No, I'm as much of a freak as I always was," Beyond replied.

"Really?" L smirked. "Would 'A' agree?"

"What?" Beyond's voice dropped an octave.

"He defended you on your blog," L explained. "You should have told me you met a boy."

"Shut up," Beyond didn't sound angry. "We don't talk, anyway."

"Right," L said dully. "You should have told Mello or Near."

"They still don't realize that they're our system of passing information," Beyond chuckled.

"It makes for less fights," L mused.

"I hate you a little less right now," Beyond added.

"That one's a lie," L observed.

"Yes," Beyond admitted. "I hate you just as much as I always have."

"I hate you too," L felt the need to say back. "What's A like?"

"He's too good for me," Beyond stated.

"That's a give in," L joked.

"And not funny," Beyond deadpanned.

"Worth a shot," L shrugged. "So he's nice?"

"He acts very innocent, but he's not," Beyond sounded happy.

"Is he good looking?" L wondered.

"Don't be superficial," Beyond chided.

"Asking for a description to paint a better picture in my mind is not being superficial," L defended.

"He's good looking," was all Beyond said.

"My boyfriend is _very_ good looking," L couldn't resist saying.

"F off," Beyond probably rolled his eyes. "So you're going to forgive him then?"

"I don't want to end things," L knew that this would outweigh his bruised feelings. "But I don't want to get hurt again. I'm keeping what you said about idiots in mind."

"Near gets the over simplifying trait from you," Beyond informed him.

"Oh, I've always known that," L laughed. "You've actually really helped me."

"If you say the words 'thank you' I'm going the throw up," Beyond warned.

"Thank you," L said with a devious smile that he knew Beyond couldn't see.

"You're a great brother," Beyond said sarcastically.

"Oddly enough, so are you," L wasn't joking. "I'll call you at some point."

"Yeah right," Beyond muttered.

"I want to hear more about A," L reminded him.

"I'm not telling you anything," Beyond said. "If you call me I'm not talking about myself."

"Fine," L sighed. "We'll talk about Mello's love life and Near's puzzle obsession."

"Mello has a love life?" this was news to Beyond.

"I'll tell you about it later." L hung up first.

When he opened the door to his room, he was greeted by Mello and Near. Mello had tried to get him to open the door several times, and L guessed that waiting him out had been Near's idea. He supposed it wasn't fair for him to shut himself in without any explanation, but if the two of them really wanted to know what was going on they could have asked Light.

"Should I brace myself for interrogation?" L dryly asked.

"Yes," Mello crossed his arms. "What did he do?"

"Did he refuse to tell you?" L wondered wether or not Light would consider the matter none of L's brother's business.

"I didn't want to leave the house," Near spoke for himself.

"What?" L asked.

"Light's been sitting outside all morning," Mail, who had just walked into the hallway, informed him.

"Oh," L hadn't expected Light to want to sulk in privacy as well.

"What did he do?" Mello asked again.

"We got into a disagreement," L tried.

"You only shut yourself in when you're upset," Near said.

"Light kept something from me that I would have rather he shared," L told the three. "I've cooled down and am going to go talk to him about it. If any of you are caught eaves dropping, then I'm taking back the candy I gave you."

"We wouldn't get caught," Near murmured as L headed outside. "And Mello already ate the chocolate."

L decided it would be better to talk to Light outside than bring him in. He could feel his heart beat increasing, and cursed that this confrontation was making him nervous. At the same time, he knew that this was better then the numb and empty feeling he had experienced the last time he talked to Light.

"Can I join you?" L asked softly as he opened the door.

Light's turned sharply so that he could look at L, but he didn't stand up.

"Of course," the calm in his voice was forced and L knew he had to be just as nervous.

L sat down next to Light but far enough away to that they were not touching. He was slightly surprised that this effected him. Being near Light made L want to lean into him, to close the empty space separating them. Even when he was still unsure of his footing, he could recognize the feeling Light's presence gave him. It was intoxicating, over whelming, and lovely. L tried to clear his head. These thoughts weren't helping.

"Should I trust you?" L wondered in a hushed voice. The question seemed so simple, but so much hung on how Light answered it.

"I don't know," Light stated. L suddenly understood why Light got upset every time he answered a question with these words. Still, it was better than a flat out 'yes' or 'no.'

"Elaborate." L added: "Please."

"I didn't tell you that I cheated on the last girlfriend that I dated, used Misa's feelings for me as a way to run from my problems, and jumped into bed with the first person that I opened up to, because I was afraid that you wouldn't understand." Light wasn't looking at him, instead the eyes that L was used to seeing filled with warmth stared straight ahead.

"I see," L murmured.

"Everything that happened last year turned me into the person that I am today," Light sounded like he was voicing these thoughts for the first time. "That doesn't mean that I'd repeat those actions, but I'm glad that I let myself break that much. If I didn't, I'm not sure I would have been able to rebuild myself."

L wanted to say something, he wanted to tell Light that he understood and wished that Light could have told him this from the beginning, but his mouth wouldn't move to speak.

"But I know that this doesn't count for much trust wise," Light rubbed his eyes. "I also didn't tell you because I knew it would hurt you—I know I've said this before but this was my real reason—not that it did much good, though. Lying made everything worse, and I wish I had the courage to just tell you in the first place."

"Light-kun…"

"Maybe you do deserve someone better than me," Light looked at him now. His eyes were sad, but they were also full of an emotion L was afraid to put to words. "If you're leaving me because of this, I won't stop you. It's not fair for me to."

L touched Light's cheek with the tips of his fingers. Light's eyes closed.

"I might have taken everything a little too personally," L felt the need to admit. "I know that what happened to you has nothing to do with me. I tend to be paranoid, and that didn't help things."

"It's not your fault," Light murmured.

"I know it's not," L whispered. "But I think I can see the situation better now. I was hurt that you didn't tell me. But now you're putting me first. Because of that I will forgive you."

Light's eyes shot open.

"But only under the condition that you promise you won't lie to me anymore," L added. "Even—no, especially if it's to protect me."

"I think I can manage that," Light eyes filled with hope and L had to stop himself from pressing their lips together then and there. He made himself wait. There was still more that needed to be said and heard before everything was back to the way that it should be.

"If you don't mind talking about it here," L started. "I'd like to hear the whole story of what happened last year."

"Yeah," Light nodded with a sad smile. "I want to tell you."

"Thank you," L brought his hand away from Light's face and put it on the boy's arm instead. "You can start where ever you want."

"Alright," Light placed his hand on top of L's.

* * *

 **Technically this is the last chapter. However, there will be an epilogue to wrap up a few things and add some fluff.**

 **Thank you to America is Awesome, Callicanios, coolnerdgirl, and Corliss Kat for the reviews!**


	21. Epilogue

_January_

"Are we going out tonight or do you have too much homework?" Raito asked as L met him outside of his Literature classroom.

"Misa said something about crashing our date," L replied.

"Staying in, then?" Raito joked.

"It's the only way we'll escape sound effects every time we kiss," L mused with a smirk.

"Very funny," Misa said from behind L. "And you're going to get sound effects everywhere you go."

"She has a point there," L told Raito.

"I'm not sure," Raito faked a dubious expression. "I think the only way to know for certain is to test that everywhere we go."

"I see," L smiled. "I suppose we have to, if you want to be thorough."

"I'm nothing if not thorough," Raito remarked before pulling L into his arms.

They usually didn't kiss on school campus, but they both had silently agreed to be a little more public about their relationship once school started up again. Raito knew that some of their classmates stared at them, and he didn't doubt that there were things being said behind their backs. He didn't care about this. Being able to hold L's hand whenever he wanted to was worth the negative attention. Not that he wasn't already used to his fair share of negative attention from his peers.

"I still want to crash your date," Misa informed the both of them after they broke away from the kiss. "I have news."

"Oh dear," Raito groaned.

"You're so mean," Misa complained.

"I want to hear your news, Misa-chan," L spoke up innocently.

"Thank you, L," Misa cross her arms and huffed at Raito.

"Fine, so do I," Raito dragged the words out as if they caused him pain.

"No, I'm only telling your boyfriend," Misa decided. "You are now left out of the gossip circle."

"Triangle," L softly corrected.

"L's just going to tell me anyway," Raito pointed out.

"It's true," L admitted. "If I don't he'll blackmail me."

"You guys are the weirdest couple ever," Misa giggled.

They decided that instead of eating at a nice restaurant, Misa could tell them her news at a coffee shop while Raito got his share of caffeine and L could eat cake. Misa didn't complain, but this might have had something to do with the fact that L had volunteered Raito's wallet to cover the bill.

"I'm dating Hideki Ryuga," Misa announced.

"Who's that?" L joked.

"Even you know who that is," Misa dismissed.

"How did you meet a movie star?" Raito asked.

"Modeling," Misa grinned. "One of my photoshoots were directly after his."

"And he saw your beautiful face and couldn't resist talking to you," Raito predicted with only a hint of sarcasm.

"Pretty much," Misa shrugged. "It sounds like the plot of a chick-flick, but that's what happened."

"Good for you," L spoke up.

"He actually already knew who I was," Misa added with a grin. "Apparently my pictures in Eighteen were a hit."

"Sayu's going to kill you," Raito informed her. "Or love you for the rest of her life."

"Yeah," Misa giggled. "You can tell her, but not anyone else. We're keeping things hush-hush since it's better for our careers if we're single."

"That's sad," L said.

"Not that much," Misa shrugged.

"At least they get privacy," Raito added. "Imagine what would happen if everyone as school found out."

"Speaking of school," Misa drew the words out. "I'm probably gonna take a break next year."

"Why?" Raito asked a little too harshly.

"I got offered a role in a movie," Misa explained with pride. "I don't want to miss the opportunity."

"Do you know how hard it'll be to get back into To-Oh," Raito argued.

"I can always go somewhere else," Misa shrugged.

"I think it's a bad idea," Raito made his opinion even more clear.

"She should do want she wants," L said to him. "Besides, she does make more money than you."

"Then why isn't she paying for lunch?" Raito asked his boyfriend.

"Because you're chivalrous," L informed him.

"I didn't offer to pay," Raito pointed out.

"Because I want you to be chivalrous, and you give me everything that I want," L beamed at him.

"I would argue…" Raito muttered.

"But it's true," L finished.

* * *

"Raito?" L drew out his name in a concerned tone.

"Yeah?" Raito looked up from the book he had been reading on his bed. L was sitting at their desk with his laptop in front of him.

"Do you check my internet history?" L asked.

"No," Raito laughed nervously. "That would be creepy."

"Then how on Earth did you find my brother's blog?" L started at him.

"Oh, that," Raito chuckled.

"Although I'm flattered that you've put yourself into the argument—and you do have a point about A's grammar—how did you find this?" L asked again.

"I don't check your history," Raito started with. "But I did go on your computer the other day, and the tab was already open."

"I see," L didn't sound like he believed him.

"I wouldn't check your history," Raito assured him. "Not even I am that brave."

"You have a point," L mused.

"Now I'm curious," Raito admitted.

"It's mostly random," L told him. "But I'd have to see yours if you looked at mine."

"Fair trade," Raito mused.

"And something we should probably put off," L added. "By the way, Beyond responded to your reply."

"I saw that," Raito had checked it that morning. "Are the death threats meant or is he just like that?"

"I can't tell when I can't hear him saying it," L's answer was no help. "I'll say something first."

"If you think that's best," Raito shrugged. "I'll follow your lead when it comes to your family."

* * *

"If Matt is going to be a part of this conversation, I'm not kicking Light out," L told Mello through his computer.

"Fine," Raito watched Mello shrug. "Just no PDA."

"Technically we're not in public," Raito felt the need to point out.

"And if we can't display our affection than the two of you can't either," L piped up.

"We're not going to," Matt voiced.

"No, you're leaning on him," L replied. "That counts."

"It does not," Mello argued.

Raito leaned his upper body into L to prove his point, resting his chin on L's shoulder. He knew full well that they looked far more suggestive than the other two.

"See," L said.

"That's different," Mello argued.

"How?" L asked in an innocent voice.

"Because he's making it look sexual," Matt answered for Mello.

"It's not my fault Raito is naturally sexy," L drawled.

"Whatever," Mello gave up.

"I'm taking that one as a win," L murmured.

Mello complained for three more instances before Raito decided to stop being "handsy" on camera. L laughed each time, and Raito knew that he would have kept going. However, Ratio knew he was better off if he didn't make Mello and Matt overly uncomfortable.

"B said Light sounded interesting," Mello informed L once their topic of conversation was finally away from public displays of affection. He looked to Raito before adding: "And you should be scared."

"I'll see how long I can delay that meeting," L told his brother, and Raito knew that he meant this.

"If I can survive Mello and Near's interrogation, I think I can hold my own against your crazy brother," Raito felt the need to speak for himself. "Especially considering I've already withstood virtual death threats, so I think I have an idea what real life ones will be like."

Despite mentally telling himself that he'd hold back on touching L, he let his arm drape around L's shoulders at this.

"Beyond is one thousand times worse than me and Near," Mello needed to make clear. "Our interrogation was mild on our standards, mild on Beyond's would mean that he will only hit you once."

"I'm good at dodging punches," Raito told the blonde.

"He doesn't make empty threats or threats without examples," Mello added.

"If that means looking at pictures of his last victims, then you should know that I was able to view crime scene photos from the age of ten," Raito bragged.

"The more confident you are, the more funny it's going to be for the rest of us," Mello shrugged.

"I'm not going to get scared off if that's what you mean," Raito informed the blonde. He could feel L's eyes on him as he spoke. "The crazier you people are, the more motivated I am."

"That's very romantic," Mello monotoned.

"Most of the motivation comes from my feelings for L," Raito added, not entirely sure why he was admitting all of this. "And the rest comes from wanting to prove to L that I'm tough enough to handle the insanity."

"The more insane, the more impressive," Mello understood.

"However vain it makes me sound, I do like to impress him," Raito turned his head to look at L now. He was right that L had been staring, but the emotion in his eyes made Raito glad that he was.

L gave Raito a wide, slightly creepy, smile before tearing his eyes back to the computer screen.

"We are going to go have sex now," L informed Mello and Matt.

Raito gaped at him.

"I don't need to know that!" Mello shouted, too busy being disgusted to notice Raito's reaction.

"Goodbye," Raito fought for his composure as he ended the call. He looked back to L, who was still smiling widely. "What?"

L dove at him. One second they were sitting face to face, the next L was on top of him. Raito heard L's computer clatter to the floor, but was too busy kissing L back to care about the device. L's hands coiled in his hair, and Raito could feel his heartbeat increasing. In the back of his mind, he knew that he needed to stop for a second. He needed to talk to L before words were the last thing he wanted.

"Wait," he choked out, holding L's face in his hands for a moment.

"Yes?" L looked down at him, confusion on his face.

"You're sure?" Raito stammered.

"Yes, Light-kun," L was grinning again. "You've convinced me."

"Okay," Raito felt himself smiling as well. "As long as you're not going to regret—"

He was cut off with L's lips meeting his again. L's hands stayed his his hair, and he focused on his mouth. Raito knew that if he didn't move now, L's position on top of him was not going to change. Swiftly, he moved his hands to L's waist and rolled the two of them over. L stopped kissing him for a breath.

"I see," he murmured into Raito's air.

"Yeah," Raito smirked.

"I love you," L whispered.

Raito froze. L rolled them over again with a wicked smile.

"I just wanted to let you know," L added. "When you told me it wasn't the most romantic moment, but I remembered."

"I meant it," Raito laughed slightly.

"I know," L said into Raito's ear. "I mean it too."

"Good," Raito rolled L over again. "This is going to keep going, isn't it?"

"It's more fun this way," L admitted. "But one of us is going to have to give up eventually."

"I don't give up," Raito reminded L. "Not in this reality."

"Right," L nodded slightly, he looked like he was contemplating Raito's words. "But neither do I."

This time they fell off the bed.

* * *

 **Well, that's the end of that...for now...**

 **In response to Guest's review, I am considering writing another story in this universe about B and A. This is partially because I feel like three is a good number to close this on, because there are more details about B, L, and Naomi that I couldn't find a way to fit in, and because I would like to do an A and B fic. Again, no promises. It took me three months to stop procrastinating this one (but only two and a half weeks to write it!), so, if I do write the A and B fic, it might take a while for me to start posting. However, if you're interested please let me know and keep your ears peeled! Thanks.**

 **Callicanios, thank you for all of your** **reviews! I'm always excited to see what you have to say about each chapter.**

 **America is Awesome, thanks for your reviews and for the follow! (I appreciate creepiness!)**

 **Corliss Kat, thank you for all of the reviews. Your boredom in science class will motivate me to write more!**

 **Wizard-Party-Forever, thanks for all of your reviews!**


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